STOP 'ROUND FOR STARTERS

 

I sooo got the green light from my insurance, United Health Care, and wanted to RUSH in here to retract what I had said about them in the last post. Yeah...some of the network doctors aren't there or never show but 2 out of 2 isn't bad and my general practitioner is a God Send who is not only compassionate, smart, written a book on how Christ died, but has an extreme passion and reverence for him. I felt like my prayers were heard and our Father sent me to one of his best! :))))

And while on prayers...I had another MRI yesterday (I tried to get out of :/ I was just hoping knowledge would drop out of his mouth by using last years MRI and he'd throw me a miracle pill or wave that magic wand) so recited Psalms in order not to swallow while she had the machine running on my neck, then our lords prayer, then a prayer, and on the longest one, I started doing the rosary via fingers when it hit me! I had another piece of metal from a drapery needle lodged in my foot when aerobicizing back in 1988 and got osteomyelitis :l Infection set into my bones and they talked about removing my foot because the metal would have been too difficult to remove until 2 prayer groups later...Cipro had come onto the market. That antibiotic saved my foot by knocking the infection out of my bones before it could travel to my head!

So living here in the woods where I thought I'd get clean water and fresh air when instead I've gotten fecal coliform and crop dusters lol, has had me hit with every quirky health issue from the week we moved in. That first week landed me in the town's hospital with the green mold to remove a piece of wood from my other foot :/ The IV had me red as a beet and about to pass out but they did get it out and gasped when they saw it! Then running around checking signals with AT&T with power failures, falling off tables when they told me to pull phone lines and I get dizzy, nurse telling me she is a doctor and learning she wasn't (but finally in doctors hands). Now the lesion on the liver from last year has become 'lesions' and the mentioned 'diverticulitis' which I am now sure is more like a parasitic invasion now that Paros has been diagnosed with roundworms this week :(((


Yep. He has been off the monthly Heart worm pills that protects him from whip, round, and hookworms and even though I told the girl at the new vet not to put him on the 6 month injection...the vet gave him the 6 month injection ...which come to find out...does NOT protect him from roundworms! And I'm in the dirt more than the dogs gardening (not so much this year though...too listless). But this is after the Shih Tzu attacked my good arm when grooming him. I wasn't focused...still too foggy headed and he still thinks the clippers and brush are Satan and friends :/ He even drew blood in two places ...this was just the third place where no blood was drawn, just a bruise! Didn't even feel it though...not with the neck, side issues, and then came the eye all red, swelling, and feeling like I'm about to be hit with pink eye so I throw some ophthalmic ointment I had left over into my eye to thwart any new issues. My doctor has enough on his plate playing catch up with me! I can get what I can get and save the more difficult stuff for them (Lord bless them, give them strength, and a strong dose of understanding and humor!).

I went as the victim :/

I feel like I've been on a marathon and during the race here but I can see the finish line! I've been battered, neglected, bitten, bruised, lied to, poked, prodded, poisoned, and tired...just crawling to cross that line and get out of here! But I will always love the peace and privacy out here along with the time I've had to garden, play games, feed the chipmunk, birds, squirrels, herd of deer, and fox that churbles at me like a cat :) I know I don't want stairs in my next house and I've also realized that when I do die...I'll take my faith to ground with me! But I won't miss the horror I witnessed here with the schools, water, doctors (minus the ones I have that are REAL lol :D), internet issues and I won't even mention the electricity because they did rectify their problem asap ;) But I do see that finish line and I am optimistic I will cross it; accomplishing what I set out to do...regain my health.


Till then, Paros has to go on a diet and I need to discuss with the vet about whether it is safe or not to put him on the monthly pills that protect him from roundworms. So glad to see his stool coming around to normal today! I get to give the lab my stool too, tomorrow lol :D And whether it is positive or not...you can best bet I'll wear my gardening gloves and sit on the mat Jim gave me :) He has been encouraging and thinks I'll get my balance back and be able to ride the new scoot! I'd like to say that I just can't wait but it's exactly what I'll have to do :/ ~sigh~ I still haven't gotten the tags for it so maybe after I finish up some of this doc business! Just one more vac this month for Hep B and other stuff they suggested, then another in 6 months, and liver doc appointment, reading of MRI tomorrow ...then it's Christmas and cruising with my oldest daughter! We are excited! I'm a bit bummed about my youngest daughter's birthday tomorrow but she wasn't speaking to me when she was speaking to me :l  I bought me something for her birthday and will celebrate it and pray for her.  Jim just loves it! They were $100 off at restoration hardware and I think they look like afghan hounds! Just need to find my nightstands one day :/

As for my oldest daughter's birthday this month...I bought her a gown, gold earrings, the cruise, and little surprises when she goes to her cabin so she'll know how much she is loved too :) I know I will miss her and we can't say what the future holds but I believe it's time to finish up here and move forward into a lifestyle that is conducive to work, aging, and services we'll require...God willing

 

Happy Birthday to my daughters. I'll say it until I'm in the ground...you don't have to be perfect but I wish for you both to be decent, balanced woman who believe in God and know that you are loved :)

  

 

CRUISING RIPPLE EFFECTS

Since the last post...I did get to see the liver specialist out of pocket and had my questions answered and then some like the insurance dragging their feet saying NO to everything and why that one lesion last year has multiplied into many lessions including my liver now (1.5 yrs. later :/). We just need to find the infection and well...I'm still on the water thing. The dogs and I are sick at the same time and Jim won't be because he is in Atlanta all the time. And wouldn't you know my liver would be swollen on that visit 2 days after a stressful scenario with AT&T again about my internet speeds on the computers (even the new one) slowing down to 1.0 to 3.0 (on a good day)? But I practiced breathing technics and clasped my cross while saying prayers while I waited to relax and not come off as some excited rube who is getting to see a real doctor and not have to look on WEB MD for my answers while fighting AT&T for internet speed lol :D No wonder all of the other doctors laugh at this mess and even the one I never got to see in the year and a half (nurse anyway) say I have the WORST insurance of ALL!! United Health Care. Don't do it. It's a trick :/

So I just got tired of the nightmares and crying in the night disturbing Jim's sleep when he is home, waking him up, worrying him, and then he'll console me so I jumped up and shopped for him the Harley he wanted; Heritage Softail. He had even slipped and fell in the shower in Atlanta the week I gave him more bad news and landed in the ER so I just wanted to put a pep in his step and make him
happy by getting out from the black cloud UHC allows to linger over our heads and get happy and not worry about me for a moment. 2 days later he takes a sick personal day (what I call a 'get well' and 'live' day!) and headed out towards Hattiesburg Cycles which is a HUGE place with EXCELLENT inventory and an Indian dealership. When we walked in the door, a little Indian Scout with matt finish in Paros colors grabbed my eye so I just stood there a moment. Jim liked her too! He liked her so much, he passed on the Harley and bought her even though she is smaller than my sportster (which I couldn't get my feet flat on the ground but this scout I can!!). Paros went for the ride too and got to go in loving the attention! He is a very sociable boy and sooo sweet but the day got a little rough on us when we learned my new insurance I had gotten from the bank canceled on me, we had no time to add the tow package to my SUV to trailer it home because of that mess (both of us nervous about me having to drive), and Jim froze and ached from riding it home 3 hours into the night :(

But regardless of the obstacles, I laughed most of the day at him when he said he'd have to change all of his Harley stuff! Then when he got home saying "That's out of my system now" and in the morning when he said "Happy anniversary...I just bought you a bike!" Lol...we are back at the
drawing board looking at used Harleys but I know my mission was accomplished by the way he and Paros lit up like fireflies during the course of the day :) And somehow I knew when I quit worrying about the unscrupulous ethics and policies, mistreatment, and devious con methods of big businesses like ATT and UHC by putting it all in God's hands...things would come about ok regardless of our plans. They became His plan for us so the ripple effect took a different path from the one we were on and we came home with a fresh perspective :) Also found out his boss has the same exact bike so how bad can that be? It's a sharp little scoot!

And even though the insurance thinks I'm alright but when I got on the bike I could tell my balance was off...maybe they are right and I should take 'alright' for a ride lol! :D Although the neurologist was going to run another scan to see if the growth in my neck was growing and pressing more on my spine...and check the ruptured disc that sometimes presses on my nerves when I try to get active
(which is the least of my problems), the insurance thinks I should just do some physical therapy (which I am happy for on the disc part at least) but we'll see. I told my general practitioner yesterday if it's not in my head...I'll be in with more shattered bones :( If not...I'll be getting some of that fresh crop dusted country air after my glass of coliform water ...clearing my head and laughing in the wind I call "God's Breath" ;)

As far as these health insurance companies tying the docs hands behind their backs and not letting them do their jobs correctly, forcing us to just see nurses who only have a 4 yr degree (which I'd rather go into the vet with the dogs myself), and just go in for one thing at a time even though you may fall like me and shatter your arm along with hurt your lower back at the same time (which will FINALLY be looked at next week and has gotten worse with the trip over the wires when ATT connect tech had me bridge router to router one night)...I don't see where they, nor I, are saving any money so I will just keep making appts until it is corrected. The doc just laughed when I said "Inept" and how a friend in Canada was diagnosed with a lung tumor and already underwent chemo and radiation within 3 months time! We know she doesn't carry UHC lol! :D So nothing pathetic here but the companies :P I'm still trying to get in touch with FDA and discuss drug and treatment quality in Mexico...for real! I only blame that lesion turning into lesions this past year and a half on UHC even though they try to blame it on the region and docs (shame on them! family and co workers in other states that have them are saying the same thing about them! And they really should check who they 'network' with or hire into their network :P ).

Other than that...when I went to get my BP meds refilled at Walmart ...and every month they I have no more...Jim says he will send them my funeral bill if anything happens to me. We later get "Oh...here it is" EVERY month so stupid stops here too. Next month I will have them at the pharmacy here in town and we are TOTALLY boycotting Walmart :P After my BP got high yesterday, liver started swelling, I became disoriented in the middle of the parking lot and had to figure out what I was doing and where was I. I just drove over next door to the hospital and downloaded on a nice lady there, we laughed, down breathing techniques, called Jim who was under 2 hours away to meet me at a restaurant and drive me on in home :) (and I gess I'll need a therapist in their network because boy am I getting depressed with my life on hold :( ). I probably need to just stay away from anything or anyone that's stupid but I feel every time I turn around and take 2 steps...I meet up with it again :/

 

Yep. Till then it's all a ripple effect. But we're through riding the inept waves cast by big business. We are skipping our own stones and I can't wait to see what's on the other side of the pond! (and I'm ready to shave my head of hair to show the gashes from the falls :/ Lol...my vet says along with the gen. P they should also do a lyme test from the 5 ticks in my head Mana brought me from the woods :l).

SOARING HIGH

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh...I just had to post this quick one not only because Pope Francis is here and I've been watching him with love and admiration...praying congress will ACT and not FORGET what he is requesting...but my little brother's prayers and other prayer group this week brought an appointment in a couple of weeks to see my out of pocket and out of hellish insurance network doctor I saw last year! To read my results (they already got them from other doctor I've never seen nor had the nurse tell me cat scans etc.) and to discuss options! Wow! What a novel idea lol! A doctor with options! Thanks to all for the prayers...even though this is probably not reversible...at least maybe we can stop it!

And even though this video lives on this page.. I am posting it here of him blessing the bikes in Rome from Harley Davidson's 110th anniversary when we went a couple of years ago. I still get excited when I see him! Is there anyone better than Christ, Pope Francis, The Delai Lama, or MLK? Well...I mean under our father in heaven ;)

Don't Nope The Pope :P

 

FOG LIGHTS

Had to shake some hard blues from last post by hitting the phone to just find a doctor outside of my horrid UHC insurance. Actually hit down past the blues into a depressed stipor that lasted about a week. My little brother and some of Jim's co workers all agree how lame they are and I don't know what exactly an attorney meant by state something but it seems it isn't the state so much since others are in various states and stories are not far off from mine (although they are seeing doctors :( ). I got a little hopeful thinking it was reviersible but don't think mine is so I am going back to my general practitioner to let him in on where I am at with this (he will be in disbelief), called another doctor I had visited out of my pocket and finally got his new nurse (wonder if that is why he has a new nurse lol?), bought ink and about $50 in stamps (plan to write a brief description of this mess and send it out EVERYWHERE), and for back up...I've been on the phone trying to reach various departments of the FDA for advice and to inform of my intentions to not wait another 2 yrs and just go ahead and seek treatment on my own (I'm having to look up questions, diets, flushes, etc.)

Finding no-no's for Jim

I've noticed a big difference by following a liver flush online but also found out my Blood Pressure meds cause serious liver failure as a side effect, and to reiterate...a bit of contaminated water but my regular diet is up to par. I've always followed the high carb, low protein diet my internist gave me 30 years ago when I came down with shell fish poisoning at a pre-med party for the DOA (Delta Omega Alpha....but as we'd joke...Dead On Arrival :/).I did increase my fruit smoothies, always use olive oil, adding lemon to my water even though I have lemons for my unsweet tea all the time (even have lemon trees I go through soooo many lemons lol...and favorite cake is lemon poppy seed with cream cheese icing). I live in the state that produces sweet potatoes so we are always stocked with that, salads, always been vegetarian until 40 but eat VERY LITTLE meat now anyhow..and lean cuts at that, organic brown basmati rice, organic brown rice (except white with chinese or social pot luck events and dog food...I switch back and forth from brown and white as back up). So hell...even the dogs eat rice or noodles with broccoli or carrots, apples, sweet potatoes, and rarely chicken! I'm still using Castor and Pollux Organix mixed with Blue Wilderness Salmon as dry feed.

Other than trying to break the horrors of UHC and treat myself, we are also thinking about dropping it down a bit so I can fly out of country to start a regime and have access to drugs that may help...as soon as I research them online or get a doctor outside of UHC crap. I really do think I have a better shot at healing via a shaman in the amazon rather than their doctors so I wrote the name of the institute that does this in Peru from HBO's "Sacred Science". I think if I am a single indigent female...I'd probably get better free clinic govt care with my disability because then they can't tell me we make too much money :P (Bite me). 

ESO Guild Play

Got my eldest daughter a formal gown for Christmas dinner cruise. Normally we hold off on the Tux and gown stuff unless it is the European Voyages but I think this occasion will be good for a family photo and she was really happy. It' kind of broke my heart to see her semi formal dresses for high school dances and stuff sold at her garage sale this weekend :( I remember the year they told her that she didn't need rehearsal for the talent show because she was that good but she had to change words from Grace Slick's song "White Rabbit" from 'Feed Your Head' to 'Heed Your Head'. :l Sometimes I just wish I listened to something other than rock and roll growing up lol :D Trying to get her to come down and spend the day to pass my leather craft off to her...the mask form anyway. She was raised in New Orleans and attended a private school by the Quarter growing up so she has the sense of style and is artistic...not to mention was very easy to teach guitar and vocals was her own penchant from preschool.

Finding out the On Star, cell phone, gas, etc. is all tax deductible because of this insurance commuting me to death so wonder how the IRS will feel about that next year. If I had known...or out of my brain fog long enough to think, I would have claimed quite a bit on last years but it is all settled now...IRS paid but we are ahead with state taxes. I just figure if I get a head start on the coming taxes...we'd actually get them filed without doing an extension lol :D

Till then, I hope no one is neglected and ill treated by ANYONE...especially their health care professionals. It's not so much our number is up as it is feeling unlovedm mistreated, and alone. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

NO SIGNS BUT BRIMSTONE

What UHC gives you

 I still haven't met the doctor but I finally got some of my tests results back. I had to call her back into the room...I believe we are both overwhelmed and still playing catch up (seems the insurances use the cheapest doctors and is why I pass 5 on the 2 hour route to this one who is flooded with patients due to insurances ONLY choosing those doctors who charge half price for visits...then they continually say "No" to treatment leaving the care takers frustrated!). I was wrong in the last post. I am stage 3, more than likely have diverticulitis with the liver issue, and being sent to a urologist (or at least the nurse because I know United Health Care won't give more than a dime back on the $600 I pay per month :/). At least I found out the doctor doesn't even come to the clinic that is closest to my home (one hour) so if they ever send me to the clinic 2 hours away...there may be a shot at meeting him. Until then...one issue at a time...no extra stuff. And the 3 tests by 2 doctors I've had in the course of more than a year...I now know I have liver failure/disease whatever.

And I wouldn't have had those 2 beers with my birthday dinner if I had known. Yeah...it has been swelling some the past year and a half but mainly due to stress or contaminated water (the dogs will do foul death poops at about that time of year we have coliform and it's in the news for other nearby towns). I have been sensitive to common staff bacteria since I was a baby so you can imagine a heavier bacterial infection internally and what it does :(((( No matter...my daughter and I call it "Level 3 and the Game's Not Over!" lol so we had "Celebrate Life" day with lunch at Memphis BBQ Company along with 'Shop till you drop' at Dillard's! I felt fine...a little sad and angry at how the insurance does but wasn't going to let them win! ;)

Watch me NOT be stuck!

I felt fine that is until the lawn mower got stuck in a seriously huge hole the neighbor's dog dug chasing moles :((( Angry but knowing I can rectify this...I get into the Miata to go a push it out of the hole. Mold everwhere! Now I am cursing the insurance company because I wouldn't have had to buy the new car if they just accepted the GAP thing to go to a closer doctor! So I clean the mold off of the leather seats and go to start it. DEAD. After sitting there for 2 months...the battery went dead. I'm beyond mad so I use the new one to pull the lawn mower out by rope. That night...my liver was just PUSHING on my ribs and the first time I've had PAIN with it. Bed rest for me over the rest of Labor day weekend until today :)

commute to doc

So I'm online trying to get a dietary regime for all of this mess. No more nuts for me and I can keep on my daily breakfast of yogart, adding more water but need to look more into it. I had to restore the computer, fight with HP's horrid wireless printer with the continual driver issue, finish taxes (owe more than last but not as much as when I had the restaurant bar thank you God!!!) and I guess I need to look into self treatments...maybe another country...if my insurance says 'no' some more. I also need to go ahead and buy a couple of burial plots, sit down with an attorney to do living wills and stuff and may as talk about all of the hell my insurance has put me through if I can't get treated and move on to neck therapy or something. I am also working on a general letter to congress, CDC, news, lawyers, and several other agencies so no one else, like the vet that died waiting for a doctor in some fictitious network, goes through this hell.

As for my friend going through treatments for cancer...she will have her story of survival that brings light and hope to others. My tale will be one of reform from criminal neglect from big businesses that are only out to take our money and provide no real services. I think the government has become a big business and not the people themselves. I think Obama is an exception and is compassionate and humane but just like the doctors, they have his hands tied behind his back too.

Bayou moves by Paros

It's my life. I will kick whatever demonic, cruel, callous obstruction (insurance, or any other big business) that detours my path to wellness out of the way! If I have to go to another country and do a self treatment plan to go along with my self diagnosis, ask my questions on web MD, or the 2 hours on the phone with United Health Care who "couldn't help me" after looking 2 hours for a doctor in their network (blogged about 2 years ago and took 6 months to find one 2 hours away...omg wtf?!?). I wonder if that will be tax deductible along with the reverse osmosis system and car to commute to the doctor while in the brain fog (which I am beginning to think and read is from the liver and not the ruptured disc, nerve damage from block, or pinched spinal cord from calcium growth....which is all been ok with stretching my spine out daily...as long as I don't have to do any lengthy bed rest :l).

Another plan is to have Jim put poison traps all out in the front 3 acres (if the dog dies...I'm really sorry.  I have tried VERY HARD to speak with everyone about this but I am done now). Seek treatment; I guess by flights for antibiotics to Mexico to knock out this infection for now. Speak with attorneys, etc. Since I only receive nurses help (except from general practitioner...all of the rest in the network is nurses :((( ) for a doctors pay and $600 month to UHC yet still have to seek answers and treatment on my own...it is cheaper to just be fined the 2k or whatever from the government for not having health care. So go on ahead UHC. Say no again. I think I see why people become soooo frustrated to where they bomb your buildings (I really hate to say but this must be how they feel :((( ). New plan also is recipes. No more wine in pot roast, pasta dishes, and questions about the herbs in my garden (basil, rosemary etc.).


Birthday flowers still nice

I've always had 2 glasses of wine or champagne for Christmas whether dining in the Blue Room in the Fairmont Hotel of New Orleans while raising my eldest and this was to be the first year to do it on a cruise with her so I won't be able to partake in that celebratory ritual this year. I missed it last year as well in support of another family member's sobriety. I think I will come up with a new tradition of reading a poem or verse from catholic bible to mark the occasion :)

 

We all see now they drag their heels in hopes I'll just die or get so bad I can't be treated but you know what? I put this in God's hands and he is the winning side. I've always wondered 'what about hell?' with that near death and the understanding and vision of how we were all in heaven (individuals who made wrong choices due to desperation or stupidity but have remorse and faith). Hell is reserved for big business out for money lol! How funny that one incident still gives me insight and understanding to it all.

 

For now...no signs of treatment or a doctor. Just fire and brimstone from me! :P

 

*UPDATE: I wanted to put an old photo of me with my trophy and flowers when I competed in the Miss Memphis Bicentennial contest here but my past life photos are in a siblings hands who isn't organized nor can produce them readily. I am reminded again and tired of my life or life's past in others hands so I need to rid this like a plague as well. I'm in charge from today on :) (and 2 cousins competed for the crown of Ms. USA representing Tennessee and Mississippi. They weren't treated this way and more deserving of actual care as well).
 

 

Metairie college years at 23

 

CHAUFFEURED

Lame hand can't fist :/

This birthday was the best I've had in a decade. I mean on the ACTUAL day because Jim purchasing me stuff on another day, or taking me to Europe a month after doesn't REALLY count so much as celebrating the DAY of your birthday but he got up at 2 am in the morning to leave Atlanta and make it back home to take me shopping, dinner, etc. :))) For him to sit in the lingerie dept. of Dillards for half an hour, then to hit shoes, handbags, clothing etc...that's quit a feat for a man lol! :D But he helped and told me what he thought I looked good in, which handbag (Frye is our favorite line out right now) he could get into easy (without it being a suitcase size Oryany handbag), and didn't wintz at prices. I also got another Dyson (big animal canister) which makes 3 in total. One for upstairs, one for down on one side of the house and the other for what my eldest daughter calls 'the west wing' lol :D And really...I am hoping to downsize. Living in the country is awesome but the services for this region are literally criminal.

So on that note...we will see this doctor I've yet to see in over a year this week. Not holding my breath and doubt my liver is dead because I can feel it but he WILL NOT be able to sell me on ANY invasive procedures. I'm beginning to think I'm discriminated against or something. I still would like some counsel on what is going on with how this operates here. I just try not to drink the water but have to wash dishes and fruit until I can get the kitchen done and an osmosis system installed to purify the water everyone needs. Some new symptoms have come up and seems these 'blocks' they do during surgeries must last 2 years or more. My left lung is 'wakening' so I've had coughing spells at night screwing up my schedule. Thank heavens for video games though because there is nothing on TV and I really don't want to wake up totally and come downstairs to fire up computers, fans, or whatever (lap top just SUCKS with all the bloat ware HP and windows 8 puts on there :P ).

Nothing much other than bday, video games, the dogs and Jim. It's been really nice but it's back to self diagnosis via 'Web MD' like the nurse says to do lol :D Hell...I've had more schooling than a 4 yr RN. Pre Med requires you start at level 400's as opposed to their level 101 silly stuff we take as electives pertaining to our major so Pfffft on that crap :P


Not much on new pics or graphics either. Putting one I worked on while on the phone this week, pic Jim took of me in my favorite chain restaurant; Outback (outside of Copelands which is no where near here and Texas De Brazil required another 30-40 min. drive after 4 hours of raiding Dillard's lol :D ). Also something I played on over a year ago when I was playing in PS Home and Europe. (And decided against meeting breeder when we go to Greece...they've changed soooo much and don't think they are down to earth or care for the company of a couple of broken down 'once was' but call it straight, brash, mid 50's and 60's old folk :/ ).

Till then...I hope Dr. Ben Cross, Huckabee, then thirdly, Bush...excel with voters. And Huckabee more so since he has political and Christian experience but really like that Dr. Ben in the debate ;)

 

And you HAVE to give it to Trump. At least he speaks his mind and stands his ground! I love that about him but he is too brash (like me) and lacks the eloquence and balanced nature that make a good President (like me and I even made a bad boss because if you steal..."YOU'RE FIRED" lol :D ).

 

 

DRIVE UP FOR DOG WASH

Really thought I'd finish stuff up and meet that doctor but when I drove to the closest office an hour away (that can not even draw blood from there), no one was there. I called the office further up the road by 45-50 minutes and they said they called to cancel with me so I told the other elderly lady waiting with her son who drove down from Memphis to pick his mom up...then back over to this doctor. They said they didn't receive any cancelation call either. I went on to lunch with a sister and when I came home...no cancelation call. Just confirmation on phone recorder AND email! So I was lied to, have been having nightmares of this doctor chasing me with a bat or big sword because I wanted to call the police on him (more like lawyer on insurance and him, write and print dozens of letters and send them to congress, news stations, anywhere else others have been telling me). This is just criminally negligent at this point and I think he was probably shut down because he has no license there. Will probably get them during this shut down or something.

Another person says to send them the bill. They charge and reschedule me even if I am 15 minutes late. Reason why I got a car after Miata battery died :/ Saving messages and with my birthday this week...just going about what I normally do. What else can I do?!? Shop, eat, drink, sing, and maybe dance if I am up to it. The song that I've been singing for the past 2 weeks is "How Soon is Now". Jim will be in another part of the house and think I am calling for his affection when I get to the chorus of "I am human and I need to be loved..." Omg lol...I snap out of it and just laugh! It's just How soon IS now? I've been waiting for 2 years now...after it took insurance 6 months to find an operating # with a doctor at the end...2 hours away...it's taken more than a year and I STILL HAVE NOT SEEN OR TALKED WITH A PHYSICIAN! WHAT THE F*ing HELL?!? Yes...God hears and knows it and I would not, nor have I, refrained from telling the priests or pastors that I'm in FIRE WORD BRIM STONING mode! :P

The other song I've been singing for the past 2 days is "Wonder" by Natalie Merchant. I forgot most of the words so came in here to listen to it on you tube because it was driving me nuts! A friend had to shave her head and start taking chemo this week but I believe she will make it through this. She is under great doctors care who are treating her NOW...not 2 years down the road :(((( Hell...even my general doctor is mad and I think he has dropped my insurance company (United Health). She has combatted and kept her diabetes and MS in check, run the MS bike events up in Canada, was chairman of MS society in Canada for a long time, etc. Caring, smart, sweet, sensitive, strong, sociable, AWESOME soul! I adore her and pray she beats this.

I'm leaving my bday song up by the who because I hope to go shopping then hang here for the weekend of the actual day. It took all of my energy to groom the dogs and shave Annabelle down so I didn't feel like taking any pics yet. My symptoms are worse and growth in neck was pressing on spinal cord making me dizzy at the same time the ruptured disc was pressing on the nerve that runs down my arm so I couldn't even lift my arm up for a week. Glad the dogs are done though and it's national dog day so I'll have my pals hang with me the rest of the week :)))

And poor Dyson sees from their end of my bad luck. We don't know what happened to the first part they sent out but the second was involved in an accident. Then they said they were going to send it out. For a week :/ Then UPS says it was damaged too :l So they are sending out yet another one while in the meantime I am using the smaller dyson upstairs, and the clunky tank like Kirby (Royal)...which is really awesome suck power but is heavy and spits stuff out at me :(((( I just ignore the other end of the house except to come into the office which is still terrorized with paperwork and the foyer/kitchen/dining room stuff still piling up in the den to do the floors...one day (omg). (photo shot earlier of my boy Paros. He always knows when I am down or sick and is my best bud!).

Till then...bed rest with 2 TV's, PS4 and PS3, cell phone, lap top, and my BFF. So game on with ESO and photos of the sign behind 'Coon Dog Cemetery" in Alabama from the post below as well as the dog wash on up the road :)

 

I now FEAR this doctor but it is all I have...or don't have. What is the $600 per month for?

HOT MESS JAM

Seems like the whole world is on a twitter, Facebook, quinoa eating, texting train. I still prefer mail, emails and thank heavens for this blog (insurance purposes, journal to date events which I find I am pulling more each day). I also keep the practice of taking food gifts to local businesses that I'm appreciative of like my grandmother and others so I took a cake and good package of coffee to my bank, then pulled in to take the small local police dept. a cake (I usually take coffee and fruit or cookies)...I was met head on by the day shift who does not know me at all. I wanted to make sure they had some because of the heat that seems to make the crime rate go up. I guess these practices are obsolete these days because they seem to be confused. Probably thought it was a bribe or something lol but just appreciative for when they come out to the house when the alarm goes off and keeping criminals off the street. They really do have a stressful and rough job that puts their lives at risk every day.

So with temps like 101 not counting the heat index, it's not surprising I'd pull up to a squad car with a guy laying in the back seat. Probably drunk but what a horrible time to say 'you're appreciated" :/ Not as bad as a sibling who was in drug court when a guy flees with officers from the court chasing him on foot though. It made head line news. Nothing like a little heat to make you want to escape drug court only to be captured the next day in the same town's McDonalds lol. Maybe they should give him extra charges for 'stupidity'. Maybe the heat melted his brain. I keep looking for 'trails' of myself from the car to the bank, insurance, or store :l

My plants are suffering too. Lost a few of them. Not sure if it's the heat or if they are over watered. I think I will need to do some research and segregate the plants that need lots of water from those that don't because I've just been turning on the sprinklers. With the bed rest I've been doing to get well, I've just been playing Elder Scrolls Online but then when I'm fine...I maneuvered my neck to where it

Moving in and not away?!??

has been pinching on a nerve running down my arm again so I can't lift the left arm. Again :/ As long as I keep my hand below my shoulder...I'm all good! Trying to push it back until I can go see the chiropractor. Hope he can help because it's a flat out NO to nerve blocks from the neurosurgeon with not much to say :/ (Bayou feeling my pain and drug his bed by me! Even his squeak toys...one by one :) ).

But we are really looking forward to hitting New Orleans with a balcony in the Quarter. Wanted to stay overnight at Myrtles Plantation but with deposit making each room $500 a night was scary in itself so we'll do the Quarter thing before cruising off into the Caribbean with my eldest daughter and her husband. Also got a deal on 4 nights in Gatlinburg so taking the dogs to the smoky mountains for vacation next spring. Not sure about Europe with all this billing mix up from the hospitals. I get to stop by after a doc appt. tomorrow and see if they located where they put my money :/ Weeee. Nothing like a weekend kick off working at another's mistake. At least the lady checking on it seems savvy :)))


Kudo's to dyson again! What an awesome company. Looking at the 3rd machine for the house...the stick one...for quick pick ups and turns into hand held car vac. RARE you find a product that WORKS AND HAS SERVICE!!! Really makes like easy!

 

Not sure what we will do for our birthdays this month but excited enough to get away to NOLA and Caribbean! Maybe we can see some old friends down the road in New Orleans and do the Myrtles thing making a few new friends with some spirits! Doubt they are as scary as some of this mess here in Mississippi or the traffic jam in Atlanta! :o More peaceful in the country with no services and inept ones when you do find them or crazy traffic with endless sea of concrete and buildings sprinkled with crime and road rage?!? Hmmmmm.

 

 



Happy birthday to us, Jerry, my father (rip), Memery, Danny, Tammy (college/chem mate) whooooa....toooo many of us Virgos!! PARTY! :D
 

A NEW PATH

Sometimes it seems things have been going south for a good while now and there has been no exception this week. It has been rough with checking out insurances, banks, wrapping up taxes, doc tests which has pulled blood 3 times and had to hit my hand because my veins are just gone :((( Oh...and when I'd get done with the tests...I'd have to visit billing to correct some mistakes there. Having the bank print up checks for paid visits billing couldn't find where they put the money not to mention charge me more copay than what is on my plan so they need more time. Ok by me. I need my time back and if not...at least time to take a breather from it all. Cherry on the cake was when the health insurance wanted a drug test on me. Hell...I want an investigation on them so ok. Let's play! Even though I did see the new doctor walk down the hall on my 7th visit and relieved to know one exists the hour and 40 minutes away (unlike local hospital...which now has a doc and commercial wooo hooo lol :D), I am learning from everyone everywhere I go and talk to that I am the only one that has paid to see a doctor and yet not see them :o WTH?!? At least the car I had to get will be tax deductible. Still scratching my head on why they could not send the gap form out I requested twice.



OMG...Lynz's shoes lol :D

Still scratching my head too on why is it that uninvited people or strangers can be on my property, trip, and my insurance can cover them but if ATT has me trouble shoot their issues here or when the power goes out and I fall down the stairs I can't :l. Would love the answer to that question. Of course I got ATT working and the electric company did come put a new transformer up but I am concerned about the holes the neighborhood dogs dig in the yard :/ I guess I just need more no trespassing or "Go on and get" signs lol :D Man, I am feeling like a recluse redneck more each day over here :l I am still kind of mad that the local hospital would even keep the nurse that told me she was a doctor here. I sometimes think a lot of my nerve damage would have never occurred if I was under a general practitioners care and was properly diagnosed. Then by the second fall from pulling up phone lines for ATT...the bone doc that put the plate in my arm/wrist would've known to tell the anesthesiologist about my neck injury. Of course I told him I had a neck and lower back injury from the falls just the same so who the hell knows? No one is telling me :((( That's why I've been ok with going far out of town for health care. Even the hospital half hour north of me is underwent changes in name and people (thank you God!!).

Pink Punk Cartoons :)

But I did steal a moment to have lunch with my oldest daughter. She has been my prankster and colorful little birdie growing up :) I really love her music and she gave me one of their second CD's. I also found out they have played their music on the local radio stations in Memphis. I just mention her younger sister as the "booby prize" (a silly yet loving term) and really going to miss that one but she needs to find her way out from whatever mess she is in. As for the eldest "carnival queen"...I am really excited about going on a cruise with her and my son in law. Just wish I could've had a drink with her but I had to drive and it was a long way home. She was having a "Pink Punk Manhattan" with cotton candy something or another lol. My silly little carnival family :}

I have seen some changes I like that Obama has done like drug criminals...giving them less time. I never did understand why they did more time than some murderers or child perpetrators. I mentioned a while back I thought he was the most decent president, but didn't get much done so one of the most lame concerning politics. I see now that isn't so and would like to retract that. It appears to me that the legislature has given him such a hard time all these years so a BIG "I AM SOOO SORRY" for that! Appears to me he has been the only president in a long time to put our concerns as a people first whereas Reagan was business, etc.

More new age selfies lol :D

So a huge 'Thank You" to Obama and his wife, and other people and businesses that make my life easier like the women at my bank, Dyson, Kenmore appliances, Cannon Chevrolet, the rocking chick helping me with my house and reminds me of my oldest girl, other people I've met along the way that made things clearer or validated on what is going on IS WRONG. I tipped one server $30 on a $40 bill at Olive Garden just because he was astute, hard working, friendly, and pursuing college at the same time. It's great to know there is a decent younger generation of people coming about and then those who are my age that service, inform, and care. Knowledge is power and I am voting for local officials on the 4th along with Initiative 42 (the funding for schools here politicians promised). I won't vote for my girl Daphne though. I've asked her every year for just 4 inches of shelf space to carry ANY brown hair dye but I guess since I am the only white girl that goes into her beauty supply house here in town...I didn't matter to her :P Don't know who is opposing her but it will be checked anyhow lol :D. And the jury is still out on DISH. Still don't know why they tell me I would have to start my contract over if I re-added Hopper on there when my youngest daughter and her family moved in with me last year yet have been charging me for it anyhow all this time. I wouldn't have gotten DirecTV!!



The people that have hit me the most lately though have been a friend of almost 20 years and my son in law. A big thanks to them. I love and respect them for their friendship, honesty, loyalty, etc. I think of my father's words a lot and God for being there throughout my life and continually picking me up when I fall and making the path I need to be on clear to see. He is always there. I try to remember KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid. I'm here and may only pass this way once so the best residual effect I can leave behind is one of love and that I care. People, actions, and things do matter to me. How we are treated and the services we receive or don't receive are noted. This house will be here long after we are gone but it will show it mattered to us and we've treated it with respect and love and that it was more than a house, it is/was our home.


Clearing old driveway

And even though I am a part of the older generation now...I'm still working on the 'community' part. We all need to remember that regardless the age or time left here that we need to unite to empower one another and stand together for just causes. No one should be abused by big corporations or settle for the treatment like there was a "KICK ME" sign on your back. Leave it in God's hands and ask for direction. You'll eventually see the way he wants you to go if you trust him.

I have a large decision to make in the next 24 hours along with a final diagnosis/prognosis in the next 2 weeks (My neck has been killing me lately with all the commuting and liver shot probably because of some stress and boil water advisories on the news for a couple of towns away so more than likely...this town too...who knows :/) so I am taking it easy for the next couple of days to heal because I believe August will bring about a new path and journey. And with all the good changes along with awesome people I meet along the way...and wherever we may end up in the end...I am feeling really good about it and in good hands :)

This one's for you...Shar. We still have a lot of road before us :)

 

STARTING GATE

Rare do I get to blog back to back but seem to have wasted my time one of those businesses that say one thing and do another :/ I really miss the times when things were clear cut and everyone said what they meant but it rained today and everything I had in my 'Too Do" book was for outside. My taxes are ready to roll out the door as well except for my year end paperwork with the mortgage company and I did find out I've been auditing myself all these years lol. I didn't have to file extensions while I hunted down all the tax deductible receipts which are in several different folders like "Home Reno's", "Medical", "Receipts"...then go through the years statements, itemize checks needed for the bank to print out....all that. I guess when the company I worked for would go in and close banks down in the 80's with the FBI for the IRS taught me not to EVER throw any receipts away lol and that they would always be needed for taxes but no one told me just for when you were audited! And if it's not enough...there is way more where that came from so oh my hell with the paperwork!!

I did have more photos I took of the niece and nephew from when they staid here for a week and this work I call "Paros in Blue" from my PS CS5 art program. Hate they changed over to a yearly subscription service. I'm still a hard copy girl and just not about 'renting' things :P I guess I will play

Jim's Butterflies :)

more video games the day PS CS5 is obsolete. It's what I've been doing lately since Elder Scrolls Online came out. I just really don't watch TV except for the occasional block buster movie, local weather, or national news. I kind of eye National Geographic or Travel channel now and then along with my 'duh' time on the patio around the gardens with the humming birds during the summer or winter crafts. I was hoping to start the kitchen reno's but we put that off to get our house appraised (which was between my lowest and highest estimate so not bad!). I guess instead of doing it in one fell swoop...it will be slowly and in phases :/  I have a lot to sell anyway to clear the path and it seems I confused everyone on craig's list about the go cart so I just gave my cousin the new engine, won't mention the old frame, and just sell the running go cart. No project starters in with the bundle lol :D Just an adult sized go cart should be simple enough and as for the other things...I will do them all at one time so I will be here to answer the phone and show them all on weekends when Jim is here :)

Maddy's Mask...cut, shape, paint!

So we will just suffer a bit more with the contaminated water that seems to come about twice or so a year until I am able to get the cabinets and reverse osmosis system in but demolition and electrical come first, then windows. Cabinets will come in between the counter tops, painting and light fixtures. I did FINALLY find some fixtures for the bathroom! And Jacuzzi tub skirting so it is almost complete!!! It has come a LONG way from the ugly fluorescent lighting with gold peel and stick vinyl and I am quite happy with it so hopefully I will have before and after photos of it and the original driveway we've been clearing down the front 3 acres. I've been growing the swamp mallows (large hibiscus), some crepe myrtles, etc. to line the drive when we are done so they are well established. Did have issues with the lavender but plan to buy some pecan and walnut trees. The shells will reinforce the drive.

Till then...can't wait for Caribbean vacation with the eldest daughter and her husband but back at the starting gate with the kitchen, downstairs flooring, and electrical work. Cash out of pocket on the reno's is really better anyway. Just more equity for me if we ever need to relocate for some reason. And if I go astray from where I need to be...I put it all in our father's hands and if he needs to put me back at the starting gate... I trust the driver ;)

 

NOT TO MENTION...the band lives! More importantly...they are working out their empty nest dilemma. A cut from my oldest daughters latest CD :))))

 

https://www.reverbnation.com/area69/song/19404856-not-to-mention

BREATH TESTS

Still nothing new in the way of leather or art except teaching the children (nieces and nephew) how to make masks. They are really seem to have a strong penchant for it and have been a pleasure to be around. The one that is my grand daughters age isn't even interested in boys or walking down to the highway to meet some, although I think my grand daughter was under peer pressure from the friend she made here the month she attended school (daughter pulled her out when she seen she was interested in a black boy although I would have pulled them out 2 weeks earlier when I heard my grandson witnessed drugs going around in junior high!). They were soooo sweet and such innocent babes! I couldn't believe they lasted the week with me (Jim was in Atlanta. I think he lives over there lol :D).


I'm still trying to get taxes together this week, still haven't met that elusive doctor but did talk with my insurance on new doctors between Memphis and New Orleans. I was pleased to see my old doc in Louisiana accept the health insurance we carry and I can visit the chiropractor over this/these ruptured discs instead of neurosurgeons with their surgeries and nerve blocks. Still haven't validated that is where my nerve damage is coming from but would bet my life :P Other than that...we did all fall sick (dogs, children, and me) a bit so I'm sure it was from the water. Really need to get the kitchen done with the reverse osmosis system in so I can be done with that and can stay out of restaurants, diners, packaged foods, etc. :/

Did get out a bit with Jim. Took the dogs to see the buffalo for July 4th holidays 2 hours away, lots of restaurants till kitchen is done, hanging with sister, went to see a cousin this past weekend which puts Germantown out of the places to commute to specialists to when I saw that traffic btw! Man it's gotten crazy there. I guess really everywhere in the states and it's why there is such shortages on everything like food, water, etc. It's those things that make me appreciate the country even more but I still believe God will get us to where he thinks we should be. I know a lot of people don't even believe in him and I have a son in law I respect and love dearly (especially when he can speak truthfully and communicate on things that are hard to admit to ...unlike the other one who rolls his eyes when you say "God Bless" or plagiarize quotes from the bible adding his name to them. I just think he is a dumb drunk asshole that has restored my faith in the Government when they saw through him and forced him to retire lol. I hated to have to 'defriend' my daughter on FB but after that one...it hit me how STUPID I WAS to engage in serious conversations with drunks :/  I'll get nowhere fast with that lol and it's not like they really ever have a sober day. Maybe one or two a week if that from what I've seen but when you hide it a lot or are in denial about how much you drink...just go back to the closet and stay there until you can face the real world with sobriety and truthfulness.

So maybe one day I can carry on with art tutorials, links, photos, etc. but for now...I'm still correcting a lot of issues I've come up against when I moved here (ATT has been great!!). I realize now there was a reason for it all. Hurricane Katrina on my birthday with her eye dead over my beach house, seeing my parents laid to rest within the year I moved here, now watching a younger brother become a man and start a family of his own, and even a sister come out of drugs and enter a world of sobriety. Not to mention our own :) Jim said this place reminded him of Sodom and Gomorrah. I even feel like I found at least one old contact from here that is still a decent person along with a few new ones :) It would also be nice to see, not the black race, but the white race, become considerate enough to put themselves in the black races shoes and take another look at the rebel flag. How cool it would be to remove it from state and other official places and show them we care! I tell a couple black lady friends that I never looked at it as a race thing. I was just always 'Getting my freak flag on to whoop it up and be a rowdy fool on the weekends. I guess I was always just rebelling against normal mundane convention in lieu or a wild weekend ;)

GUN IT



White Aunt Jemima

I may complain lots about the state of Mississippi but there is a lot of good to be said for it. Like the nature (not over ran by big cities), the blues, farming, and gun laws. When a cousin came over this past week...he and Jim discussed how many blacks tote guns in Memphis and stories of encounters of non registered gun owners waving them around at them 2 or a various number of stories. Guns will be owned illegally just the same if they pass laws opposing the law abiding citizens who register their firearms like us (who not only need them for protection, but living in the country, we need them to fend off harmful critters as well). I almost don't recognize this country anymore. No God, no pledge allegiance, violence in schools, neglected children with both parents working, drugs that run rampant on our streets, major corporations lack of services and unorthodox charges...good grief I could go on.

But when it comes to the shooting in the black church in South Carolina...I am for a small minor change. The state flags of the old south. What are we going to rise again for? Slavery? I have one. Jim lol :D And I guess I am his too :/ I even voted for the flag to remain but it wouldn't hurt to show
an act of consideration and kindness...or humanity...and come together for this. This state is already poor and I don't know where they'd get the money to do it...nor do I know what they do with the money from all the casinos here. It sure isn't put into schools, health care, doctors, roads, etc. Yet I feel sorry for the young shooter. I blame his parents for teaching him to hate the entire race like that. And white supremacists use that flag for their racial cause. Hell...this war has been over for over 150 yrs and I was just a kid in the 60's when they didn't have their rights so vaguely remember that. My parents talked good about some black folk, and bad about others so I took it as MLK said...'quality of people'. But on the other hand, they should make the young black males pull up their damn pants! I am sooo disgusted by having to view their drawers and see the crack of their butt in line at the stores.

As for the gay rights...still all about them having their own kind of ceremony. I do adhere to God's word. Doesn't mean I dislike them as people. I went to a gay friends funeral this week. I also witness the pentecost preacher ignore and not acknowledge her girlfriends presence in her life and mentioned how they changed Tami's view on her deathbed (breast cancer). And even though it is a sin...we are all sinners...smokers defile the temple/body...I swear when mad...others gossip. Doesn't mean he will not take them into heaven. Maybe on another level. I am not the Dalai Lama who was raised to aspire to a state of divinity but I do strive to improve myself the best I possibly can with how I was raised and what I have to work with.



Did get a new car to go to doctor 2 hours away in though (and propped my feet on his desk saying "what can you do for me" lol and "since you don't have a plant...I'll take the chevy bench!" :D ). He had just sold a car to Morgan Freeman's new girlfriend right before me but still...I was mad I had to rush a buy a car anyway. I had my 5th appointment with the specialist and have to start all my tests over again. They didn't even do the blood work they said they did so don't know what is exactly wrong. I took Jim this time and the missed work costs more but had a witness to this mess. So with the rescheduled appointments 2 hours up the road...new car it was. Still haven't seen this elusive man so I have trust issues now but I get why my general practitioner thinks he is only an hour up the road (I'm thinking everyone speeds or just 'guns it' lol). He has that office an hour away but does NOTHING at it :l He did move it from a few folding metal chairs in a strip mall to a huge building...but still nothing. They have to retest me and I am upset because I kept trying to get them to reschedule the last procedure when the Miata's battery died. I feel sorry for the nurses...you can tell they are OVERWORKED and he is a mean doc to work for. Been there, done that...Done there, been it :P Now I may have to drop my coverage down but I have a car to get there so WTH?!? Still have to get lower back looked at, arm is in pain all the time (where the bone broke, not shattered and plate replaced oddly).

Got treats?

So my kitchen remodel is on hold for now as we take the long way around resolving issues. I still have to do taxes and also had to repair upstairs central unit with a used one for now. It's all good though. I won't have 2 satellite TV companies to pay. Dish's contract expired last month so $71 per month for BASIC TV was crazy high anyhow. Direct seems to be the better deal. I also cut corners by running just window ac's since I am the only one here most of the time. And with the new Elder Scrolls Online...that keeps me busy from spending anything to where I even forget there is a new SUV parked behind the Miata lol :D I do like taking Paros for joy rides to the lake though. Also going to change my regular doctor to one who knows what is in their network and get this hand looked at...and what's with the dizzy spells. I will be able to stay on top of Paros's coat :)

It's good to know where I'm at with it all though. And where the girls are even if in a place I don't like...prayers are for they are decent women, healthy, and happy. If I don't like the place I'm in or people I'm around...I can always just gun it down the road!

 

 

PS...I said my piece on FB and not going to apologize. This is why I am imperative on where my dogs go when I pass because I hope no one does that to them...especially on my birthday...and just think..."Oh well. She isn't here and dead and they are only dogs". No reverence for deceased loved ones :((( And if people KEEP doing wrong...I don't even need people like that around me. Everyone I speak with agrees they'd be ballistic if someone abused their children/grandchildren as well. And I haven't mentioned things like tax evasion, insurance fraud, etc. so they need to just defriend me (or de family?) Please.

 

It's almost Friday but Sunday's a coming. Poor priest :l

 

https://youtu.be/Tn94B3GHcjY