Friday, March 4, 2016


Last month brought about EXCELLENT news with the cure of liver infection and  I have only had one small issue with it since December's bad feta cheese at the local grocery. I still have to make sure I didn't go into stage 4 of liver failure (because there is no return from's all a countdown from there). Last I know of was the test showing stage 3 from the beginning of last summer so I was surprised to read the November letter of rejection from my insurance because my liver wasn't bad enough and/or I needed to be off drugs for at least 30 days. WHAT?!? EXCUSE ME?!?? I don't even take the aspirin the hospital told me to take everyday! I don't even eat enough poppy seeds on my lemon cakes or hamburger buns to register anything either so the nurse I saw for a year and a half (when I went to see a DOCTOR...and it took the insurance 6 months to find that one for crying out loud!!!). Ohhhh ...I did grab anything I could find; a left over expired Xanax a family member left that was about 2 years old lol...and it worked for me! You try having to suffer 2 hours with your hand detached from your body because one bone in your arm is broken and the other is shattered :/ OW!

I was hoping the cloudy headedness would go with the liver ailment but no. Seems to have been from the first fall about 6 years ago that involved my neck (ruptured disc). I was told it was ok by another UHC network doc (actually a nurse who said she was a doc..omg...I SWEAR!!). But that is all behind me now and I've been soooo excited about moving on and the EENT doc sent me to therapy to rid the dizziness! The pressure has diminished from around my ear (same side the head injury, neck injury from first fall, shattered wrist from other serious fall, then a few months later followed my the 5 tick bites on THE SAME SIDE OF THE DANG HEAD Mana brought me from the woods, then a few months later around Christmas came the skin infliction...SAME DANG SIDE!!! WTH?!? It's like getting pinched on your arm and you want to pinch the other side to feel 'balanced' but helllll no....I've seemed to get EVERYTHING on this on side :/ I'm wanting to dig up the photo of me when I came out of the hospital here the first week I moved into this house when I had the piece of wood stuck in my foot to see which foot it was. Somehow I came home with a bandaged foot I couldn't walk on for two months along with a bandaged hand...I can't remember what they did to it but I was in shock with the mold under all the sinks...the woozy feeling from whatever IV for tetnus they gave me so it must have been bandaged like a mummy from that. Who the heck knows.

So far...the neck has been ok. I keep care of it largely in part to "My Pillow" (even though I still love my goose downs...they don't support as well though :/), plus these exercises my therapist has me do. Dizziness still there...with eyes open or not and pressure comes back but I know the moves to decrease it. If I could go around the house with my head cocked to the side I'd be ok but it's hard to do this (I've tried :/). The main thing is my prayers were heard and are being answered. Not so much to spare my life...if God has me down to go...then that is how it will be. No. I just prayed to be under professional care so I won't feel alone or abandoned, know what is going on and what alternatives I have to make it better if that is possible. Today I concluded with the tenderness/soreness on the top back side of my skull will always be there, reasoning or comprehending things will always be a bit slow (I still stop in the middle of stuff and have to ask myself this round of questions to get myself through chores or what was I doing, what was I going to do, what am I doing...yada yada). Most of my family don't take my quirkiness so seriously anymore. They know the way I was...and now we just 'roll' or joke about it all ("Oh...her peculiarity is a part of her charm".....yeah....right. Whatever :/ Epic save though ;) ).

I guess that's just how it goes though. At least all the insurance/network doctor hell in the beginning got my mind and hate off of AT&T for having me zoom around trying to fix the internet for 4 years around here. I know I can't really groom the dogs well, tool leather or play the guitar and will always have issues with this hand. Now I know I will always have this hard to comprehend things so maybe it's good Jim has me in this big box in the woods lol :D I do get excited when I come out and think things will be taken care of but I know what I started (to get my site online and continue my crafts, leather etc.) won't happen. Even the internet has changed in all this time (Over 7 years now). I just hate when others say "Well, Jim takes care of you and makes sure your happy and comfortable". The life of bon bons, video gaming, and spacing around isn't happiness or comfortable. Nor do I find it stylish. It is for quiters, losers, and now I know...the disabled to get their minds off of the permanent problems they now have to live with. I think my biggest regret is failing Paros, myself, and my breeder. I will also not be able to have that shot of ouzo or dance the sirtaki past the slow bit (which only lasts a moment :/) when I go to Greece :((( Maybe instead of cultural immersion...I can have a driver take me to visit Meteora :)

So in honor of an admired friend that has undergone similar (but worse) health dilemmas as me this past year (lung cancer...chemo/radiation shrunk she is waiting to see the next step from there)...being given a death sentence doesn't necessarily mean that is what we will die from or that we should allow depression to take over. We could be hit by lightning, traffic accident, etc. A positive spirit rules not only the day...but life and beyond :) So the ear worms since January have been "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons, "Ten Years Gone" by Led Zepplin, "Cuts You Up" by Peter Murphy (which ironically is playing at the House of Blues in New Orleans April 26th and I am going to Turkey where he moved to at the time of the album I had just given away in hopes to replace it with a CD lol but they no longer have seating since the mid 90's at HOB :((( Hate to miss it but glad to immerse myself with the Islamic culture. I think their religion is beautiful and love reading the Quran on occasion). And always of course...Dave Matthews band. #41. Thank heavens for his music that always keep my spirit moving! Jim has long ago tagged "Crash" as 'our song' and ironically enough...I had gone to see his "Crash" album debut with MTV filming it at the State Palace Theatre on Canal in New Orleans French Quarter. THE BUILDING ROCKED...I mean LITERALLY SHAKED!!! :))) So I may forget the day to day little things...but not the big ;)

As for the pics...I put some of my old favorites here because I got stoked when I heard Netflix was hiring 3 people to travel and take pictures for 2 weeks. I thought I had an edge over others because they wouldn't have to pay for my travel since I was already going over to Turkey, Greece, all over Italy, Spain, Malta, France, etc. Then I read further and seen you have to instagram your 3 pictures by mid March :l It may take all that time to learn how to work the app with all I have going on :/

The other one of me in docs office with Jim. He put my turtle neck up over my mouth. They just say "Help...she's talking and can't shut up" lol :D I don't really think it's funny but guess it's just how it's going to brakes and never quite normal (God Bless the women who laughed with me in therapy when I said "You know I ain't right" with the response of "Since the first day" by my therapist lolol :D I just love her anyway and I feel she knows I'm ok...even though I ain't  :( :/ :l :P

Trevi Fountain; Jim's favorite :)
For my prayers requesting direction...I believe God reminded me of 2 things. His serenity prayer...and to remain hopeful for as long as I have hands and a mind. I can always make lemonade when given lemons ;)

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely 
happy with Him forever in the next.


  Ciao ciao...fino ad allora ;)