Sunday, December 14, 2014


I made a blank canvas for my daughter and her family to create their story on when I tore down my craft room, Jim's room, guest room, den, and protected the table so they could have the dining room too so now they did their thing (and I prefer not to mention their story they left). Now it was up to me to erase it so I've been cleaning since mid late November when they left. I did stop to take my oldest daughter out for a shopping spree at Dillard's and lunch at the Harley Davidson café called "Filler Station" and had treated my sister for her birthday too a week later. That eased the pain of still paying over $400 on my electric bill, replacing sheets with missing cases, towels, broken dryer, rained on pressure washer, scratched leather sofa, but relieved to know my Dyson survived them! I had the craziest laugh when my youngest girl posted how this state made #1 for the dirtiest cities! I already knew it fails EVERYTHING, EVERY year but I'm not from here nor did I make the mess that lied in wait for me here lol! I just kept thinking....did they do that poll while they were here?

But the joy of being with the grandchildren and to unearth my house after 3 months made it worthwhile. I couldn't process if I was more happy for their joy to go or gaining my house and life back lol! I just call it a tie and even though it wasn't on my to do list to replace the bathroom floors in the guest rooms this quick...we had no choice. They were soooo wet it warped the subfloor :((( The
kitchen, garage, and downstairs floors are on hold again...along with finishing interior painting or outside paint :/  Nor did I finish pressure washing the outside brick for winter. I did do something more important. I got to be with them, learn about them, and love them a little more. And the biggest answer to my dilemma on who to leave what to when the doctors said to get my stuff together earlier this year.

So we will be broke for Christmas with no gifts still fixing, replacing, and paying for the last atrocious electric bill but the house will be clean, decorated, and we will enjoy the peace and quiet living out in the woods, or country, has to offer. No more burbs daughter screaming 'BUGS!!' like Bates from Psycho with 'Oh God, Mother! Blood!!" lol but at least she is missing the herd of deer and 2 field mice I had to take back outside after the cold spells hit. And playing games alone without the kids won't be the same either yet having my dining room without childrens toys, shoes, and stuff will be nice. It hasn't seen the light of day until last week. I kept the protective mat with table cloths on it while they were here lol. And dunno why I couldn't cook a dish with them here. I think because I was overwhelmed...or even a bit traumatized lol....with soooo many of them running about me in different directions. No time to think with that chaos and it became clear how and why they left the baby in the SUV just outside in the driveway for an hour in the hot August sun! I owe our father a formal visit for him being ok and appreciate the 'slow south' on a deeper level.

And I am able to get off the extra BP meds so that's another good thing. Did have a nightmare trying to save the children's stuff from the IRS when they didn't report taxes from renting stepfather's house but he is selling it and he is alive and well so it was all a bad dream! My daughter isn't sentimental
On tree instead of Misfit Toy Island :(
about things and doing very well with insurances and in life so my attention has been focused on the older one...who has a penchant for vintage things. I know she is sentimentalist too and will love to go through the things she grew up with and my new things as well when I am gone :} My little brother gets a few things like my grandfathers 1940 Winchester. My sister will get a bit as well but not what she is wanting...the afghan hound painting, statues, etc. will hopefully go to my breeder or whoever Paros will go to if I go before him (except for the Marcia Van woert print :). I also bought a piece of jewelry for my grandson Jacob (who is on my mind for the custom Legend gold keyed Ovation and a cameo I bought in Italy). We picked it out together and I see soooo many similarities between my little gaming buddy and me! (like staying hibernated in our rooms with our heads in the games while chaos ensued in the rest of the house :l).

Well...I still have a 9 foot tree to light, office to unearth, doctor appointments, bills, cleaning, groom the dogs, and there will be 11 of us here for Christmas eve but upstairs is almost done! Nice to have my craft room and grooming table and dryer back! My house may not be much but it is mine and it is home. I'm good with it too as long as it's clean and in good repair. The bling and renovations can always come another day. I don't think I could ever live in the burbs or city with other homes sooooo close to me! I do love the woods....bugs, deer, foxes, and all. Commute can be hell but I'm good as long as no snakes and my dogs are good. If God's plan is for me to move...then let his will be done. Till's a great to be here, and with all it's faults, there are sooo many blessings too :}

Thanks to all my friends too for getting me through it all! How treasured and prayed for you are! Lannie, David, Shar, CC, Linda, etc.

Brother Tommy said to expect a big miracle. I got mine. And I already have what I want for Christmas, family, dogs, a home. So blessings, grace, and peace to your heart and space as well ;)


Wednesday, October 29, 2014


11, 12, 13. 60's, 70's, 80's for school
Things have definitely been nutty in my neck of the woods since last post with the son in law moving in with the step father a couple hours up the road and renovating his house and watching the grandkids go to school. It's been quite a culture shock for me but I've actually been enjoying it immensely! 4 lbs of chocolate in my closet, 2 TV's in my bedroom alone with game consoles all over the house and 3 grandsons gaming their butts off lol :D  Not to mention the gorgeous weather change and ironically enough...a grand daughter that has the outside bug like me! :) Got her an archery set for her birthday this week and we will go to get her the rod and reel she wants as well. St6ep grandson got a game he has been wanting and some money. Sold Jacob's go cart so will put it in a savings account or buy Playstation 4 (a big gift to make up for all the other events I missed from not having his address while he was with his dad in Cali during the others 2 yr. stay in Japan). With the son in law renovating and staying with the step father...he never really learned mechanics in order to change belts, fix brakes, etc.

4# candy, 3 gsons, 2 TVs
As for the 4 year old, we bonded really well. Now when they come back to the house after being up by Memphis for the weekends, he goes to our 'secret' closet (armoire) to pull out some of that 4 lbs of chocolate mini bars I have mixed in a large container. He also wanted to stay with me on a couple of occasions and let Jim and I take him toy shopping and to a restaurant. His favorite holiday is Halloween and I get it now. With all of their stuff in storage while they were in Japan and 3 of the children's birthdays a week before Halloween, it has been the biggest month of the year for my daughter's family. Then there is the ex who has all of his money tied into a motorcycle chromed out in skulls so 'Bob Skullington', the life size skeleton, is his best friend :l Of course his favorite children's story has been the spooky tale I was told as a child at my great grandmothers house in the country when I grew up. He made me tell it twice, then told it back to me on the third time, improvising it on the 4th :)

Finally did get my neck looked at. Looked like no disc from x-rays so they ran an MRI. Calcium deposit...probably from healing funny while nurse practitioner said it was ok from CAT scan while telling me she was an MD for 2 years...and disc was ruptured pressing on spinal cord. I saw a neurosurgeon who doesn't talk, show results, or stays for questions. I was informed by an attorney to visit good doctors up in the city. I do like my general practitioner half hour up so I will keep him at least. I'm sure this is why my arm tingles everyday since Jan and why some weeks I can't lift my arm because my shoulder is out. Seems there is a 2 year statute of limitations of medical malpractice and I am just soooo mad it even got this bad. I will keep seeking some retribution when time allows till then...I will take a credit hit before paying any of that hospitals bills for that mess :P

As for the fountain I molded for my step father, Jim finally put it together for him last Sunday. We went up there so I could visit him and so Jim could help Chris, the son in law, on his reno project. Jim had already patched the roof leak and plumbing leaks, so thought I'd have him show Chris how to do the floors and other projects, then go celebrate our anniversary. We met 17 years ago I believe it is now. No pictures but of the one from weekend before...son in law must have been yelling and going on and on at me due to military. Said he only had 3 beers and I don't think he is a natural born ass so I think it is from the military lifestyle. Has to be hard for him to be told something from a woman...and what's worse...a mother in law so I told him he really needs to soften up here in civilian life. Not a lot of people will take that yelling with no end to it even when you comply (over smoking...I don't even smoke in my own house but for 2 rooms, and fixed it at real dads so we all had a place outside on the back acreage of his property for all that). So with my distance, I see the sweet guy deep inside...I just get thrown off course when I hear things like "return investment on my money" or how they need every bit they can get from the house in order to take care of him. I already feel like I said my last goodbyes and his time is short here :(

Gdaughter wants deed to her house :D
My sister is hanging in there but did relapse and drink. She is more devastated but was closer to our step father. I was only under his roof for about 2-3 years growing up. Rest of time was at real father's or boarding school. I adored the sisters and my peace there! And as I told my realtor lady friend from church...I don't think I could handle moving from here and living where others are so close or having anything less than a few acres. It's been so peaceful here and after getting yelled at with all of Jerry's neighbors and me shrugging at each other and with him being sick....I may want to add a few more acres lol :D  We've been clearing out the back to keep snakes away then the old driveway that rides up the front 3 acres and circles in front of the house so we are interested in a few more acres...3 at least. Still find it ironic we have to go more than an hour and a half up the road to a farm in Hernando for fresh vegetables, horse back riding, etc. and did enjoy a hay ride with the family. My father lived down the road and used to stop in there a lot so I think the people who owns Cedar Hills Farm had their tractors serviced at his shop. As for here...the just harvested the cotton last week which was late this year because of the lengthy cold snap we had at the start of the year :/

Southern Snow
Really depressed about not finishing the fountain or having a last goodbye at my mom's and stepfathers house but can't afford to butt heads anymore with Chris because of the grandchildren. I kind of view him as a kid with the way he leaves my things he borrows in the rain or keeps yelling and in front of the sick or with neighbors all around. My father and I were never those kind of people. Nor were the sisters at boarding school. Even though he may not come from the best of families, you'd seem to think you'd get it way before you are 41. Well...that is if you weren't raised in military land where yelling in front of everyone in your surroundings everyday all day is the norm lol :D Maybe he will get it in civilian life.  Do have a couple of prayer groups going for them, Jerry, and their move :)

With the grandkids on their 3rd week out of school, I try to squeeze in as many visits with them as I can before they are gone. I will soooo be sad here without them but plan to keep myself busy and pick that paintbrush up to finish some home renovations I was doing here before they came. Plus there is Christmas coming! MY favorite holiday where I go overboard with the house and doing the balcony, more than one tree, stairs, foyers, mantle, doors, dining room, etc.! Wanted to replant a fir tree closer to the house, maybe where the old driveway curves towards it on the north side of the
property. Then I can dress it each year with bird seed sachets, squirrel corn, deer apples and pears, etc. One outside for the critters :))))

So in all the land, whether in fairy or scary tales with children, Slidell and New Orleans with it's bars (where it started us saying this...Sonny owning the most bars at any given time after my boss who left me the money for my beach house and my own bar), or grounds...I still plan to continue on with my changes to me, the house, and pick up where I left off.

And I do now have glimpses of the future as one of those visiting grandmothers staying in a hotel or beach rental down the road and hopefully will get to take the gkids on a cruise or excursion at least but staying with the family...nooooo. At least until he does a bit of growing in this land as a civilian and we can talk, smile, and hug for REAL again without Shell making him apologize. I think he will get it :) Till long as Shell and the kids are happy, he isn't hitting her, and I have my 'like' for him which seems to come from a distance when I am on my own ground, it will be alllll gooood in alllll the land lol :D


Sunday, September 28, 2014


Nothing like buying alcohol for house guests and they become terrorists :/  Fuel for the fire I always say but as a bartender and owner...I know it is legal and accepted...until someone drives or crosses the line. So with that said...we hid the alcohol and for one is allowed liquor on my premises so they need to get over it :P

Thinking I would get an apology and all would be ok this Sunday morning, I only find the sober to be threatening. Total sign of a true alcoholic so I see why he was fired from services and cannot recommend him for employment :(  Live and learn I guess and best to know this now rather than later with regret. I also know I am too old to have someone physically cause me harm so just let me say it now...I will blow them down the road first before that happens so it's for best they go chill for now. And if I know you are in route to do me harm...I will have you stopped before you get here. Been there, done that. For the record...I squashed hit men, bikers, and others who have cut alarms, put guns to my head so get the hell over it quick. Hopefully they will come back with open eyes, regret, and all can mend but I am sober and on high alert here.

This week I need to focus getting the dogs to the vet. Bayou's surgery may not have come out well and he may lose his eye :( I am not putting him under any extra stress by grooming him so he is my little ragged one eyed pirate dog still :/  ARGGHHHH .l

Nothing I can do but make sure I am on the narrow path...and leave it to God. Till heart is breaking.

Thursday, September 18, 2014


So glad I have Shell and family to ride along with me to witness the craziness of this place. I feel validated and know now it was meant for me to be here for a short while but looking to move out of this state right behind them when they locate their place under the sun :)  And they drove up just in time last Friday after directv guy came back to get a tool he'd forgotten and left my fence open (yes...fence...because I already knew these people are too dumb to close a gate but didn't realize they'd open up my fence to get into my damn backyard!). I let the dogs out and they had their field trip across 4 acres chasing the neighbors baby deer so I ran 4 acres in the hot southern sun back and forth, up hill, trying to chase them down until I collapsed in the neighbors front acreage. My 2 grandsons, Michael and Cade, caught Paros and Annabelle and led them home. Of course I have chest pains and went to ER come Monday night at the advice of my insurance's nurse...then doctor at hospital wanted me to stay overnight to do a stress test the next morning. My heart is healthy so must have been a clot, get a shot for it, sucked blood out all through the night, IV, I dunno what all but wasn't eating that food, room was dirty, and wouldn't conform all the way. Did end up putting the gown on over my clothes...but they put a damn alarm on my bed :P  I was handed back my death sentence but plan on returning it again. Soon I hope.

And have a friend I have known since I was 14 in the same hospital in a coma from colon cancer so it was depressing enough. Did enjoy most of the weekend with family and watched the boys on go cart, attempted to make some shrimp creole, hot crawfish dip etc. only to have the atmosphere of zydeco music more enjoyable :) My girl is as bad if not more than me about all these bugs, people, services or lack of, water issues, etc. I still hopes she takes her time in setting up so she will have the best home and work place there is and not rush into just anything. I know the children will be glad to be back in a civilized area and had enough of this cultural exchange!

Still have to call terminix to see if they are going to cover the attic but have a feeling it will be my son in law up there having to devise a way to push the insulation over to uncovered areas of the den. I suggested a telescopic pole so we will see. He has already had to floor the attic for direct TV, help the second tech wire their bedroom (one who came back for his tool :/), move my boxes out of insulation for AT&T to work via a phone call?!? (was this a switch?!?) etc. Maybe it was that he trained the CIA and I told them of this? Is this what it took after 4-5 yrs? He is saying to take some into court and open that door on up!

Going to start a game....Final Fantasy Reborn on PS3 and Diablo on PS4. Boys already started Destiny on PS4 but seem to like Halo on Xbox better. One in football...and the other...whiz kid...reformatting computer, scanning and adding virus scanner and updating dat files and showing Shell how to correctly care for her computer lol :D  My granddaughter is digging her
new kitty and bedroom diva! Got her to decorate her first mardi gras mask in sea shells so hopefully she will love crafts of all kinds :)

And to my friend who may buy a Playstation to play with me...he won't miss Facebook at all! Just tell him not to let his girlfriend know it is more than a game device, Netflix, hulu, red box, etc movie rental, makes getting smart TV obsolete...but a social playground as well ;)

Till then...I guess we all ride up together to help step father with flooring. My sister borrowed the money to pay her taxes but he has been left with bare concrete floors for more than a year :(  Glad she is getting out of rehab but still scary she thinks his floors aren't a big deal :/ In her sober state omg :l

Prayers of thanks to our Father Michael's grandfather and for riding with me on my journey this far. I know I don't want to die in a hospital nor of pain. Shell and Chris have been tremendous help on which states allow euthanasia and other laws pertaining to a more quality type lifestyle...that includes services of a higher caliber ;)

As for those who watch Sons of Anarchy...I think we've all been looking for this song on episode 2 of their 7th and final season. It's by Yelawolf...check this southern boy out...he also has songs featuring Kid Rock and others!! He'll need to buckle up and wear his crash helmet for his upcoming journey ;)

Kudos to Big Jim for hanging with me at the hospital. He scored MAJOR points with me this week between Sons of Anarchy show and hospital stay!! My beloved son in law, Chris, looked teary eyed one night talking about him and our relationship but I let him know "He's already back in"  ;)

Thursday, September 4, 2014


Whoooa it's been a crazy 2 weeks but an enjoyable one! I say I am wall to wall kids here since family has arrived but haven't really missed my peace and quiet...yet. I am so happy not to be alone and see different little faces all over when I awake lol :D  They are like little speedy gonzales' that I will not attempt to catch even on my best day! And to be internet has not skipped a beat but once since they've been here! It did get slow on the first couple of days. I giggle and ask my son in law if he thinks it's because I mentioned about him retiring from the military and he is smarter than me since he has trained CIA agents...who took care of I am allowing him to handle my account now. Omg!! I am LOVING the internet now! Although I've had to put a lot of effort into understanding router settings and still working on the parental part of it :/ Even got a couple of games for my birthday to play online and see what that's all about (Diablo and FF Realm Reborn) bit no one I know that plays them :/

I did let Jim take me out for my birthday weekend on another day but that didn't turn out too well so I just came straight home. Then on Labor day I lead the family to see the world's largest bald cypress tree out in the swamps by Sky Lake.  It was Chris's first official retirement day as well so it was
appropriate for him to find a cypress knee shaped like an eagle when I was showing him all the ones I've spotted since going there! How cool. And they took me to Fridays up by Memphis for lunch on the day of my birthday. Shell tried to teach me how to take a selfie but I ended up doing it the old school way...if front of the mirror lol...because I was able to get both eyeballs in it, no blurs, no top of head shots...omg...these selfies are a new thing to me lol!

Bayou may lose his eye though. He attacked Paros right before they came and Paros will mouth him to get him to stop so his cornea was scratched really bad this time. Took him into surgery so I will know if his site will be saved when the vet removes his stitches. Had to go to a new one because the local one doesn't do emergency calls and the other vets won't do them if you are not a client so I cried like a baby. Like losing a friend and going through that mess with little Bayou :(

Terminix did my insulation but didn't get it everywhere..then just sprayed over my boxes of taxes, bar sign, etc. Sales man said they'd remove all that before doing the job and I even had to empty boxes (3 loads) brought down and burned. Still not done. And when direct TV came out to install TV for Shell's room and den...the guy removed my Dish satellite from my TV! Then didn't install Shell's TV because no flooring in attic...because we are still waiting on Terminix to no TV there and somehow my HD is out in my dish :/ SCREAM. Thanks to Chris again...he floored my attic with older grandson! And a witness to all this crap I suffer here. He is in complete disbelief, horror, culture shock, and there is no way he will ever settle here lol!! This is just for a moment while they gather their bearings, look at houses and jobs, and visit :)))) Omg! We've been so busy...not much of a visit yet but I see things settling and him starting to relax!!! I adore him, my girl, and the gkids! Including the little strange one who has a strong penchant for skeletons, drawing tombstones, and screamed for a life size skeleton he has named 'Bob Skullington' :l  I am ready to email Chip Coffey lol :D

Prayers to a friend who lost her son from a drunk driver...and to the driver as well. We both hope he finds God and his way in life. Also to the journalists who were shot by ISIS families, and others who are troubled. I have also said prayers for a pal online I've been gaming with and feel like I've lost a best gaming friend :((( He will have lots of changes and schedules and have been really too busy to
play. I'm learning a dear friend may have indeed passed after Katrina. He was on his way to my house for shelter. Prayers already seem to be answered for this family to live under this roof with no yelling during stressful situations.....but to walk away or carried away with crazy laughter at it all. We've all been there and will continue to revisit unfortunately. It's all in how you handle it or pick yourself up when you fall so thanks to God I survived the things I have, make it this far to see my grandchildren, and to be ok for in my 50's :}

I think we are all broken in some way or another. And if we are blessed enough to find others to share pieces of our lives with, then we can find the strength, comfort, direction, love, and the understanding that we need begin the healing process and rebuild from there. We may never find all the pieces or fill empty spaces but learn to love, forgive, and be happy again. We need to be there for the children and others who need the same until we are reunited with the loved ones who await us in heaven.

Thursday, August 7, 2014


Newest Cali surfer :)
May be awhile before I post anything with family coming to hang for a couple of months (more or less). Having to just order the bed frames to finish off the rooms, store stuff in the attic, groom the dogs and some general house cleaning. At least my cousin finished converting the 4 ton central unit downstairs to a 5 ton, and repaired the 4 ton one upstairs so we will not kill each other during our crazy humid southern summers lol. Really could use a pool for the kids but had the attic insulated for around 3k (which is a good deal for a 4000 sq. ft. home...and it repels bugs). Thank heavens my credit allowed it. Thought I'd never recover from losing the beach house during the hurricanes.

And Jim has been here a things got really bad because I don't idle for long. I WILL put a paint brush, hammer, water hose, broom, or something in your hand if ya hang for a good while lol. I just have lots to do and have to push on. He decided to split and talked of separating. I am soooo good with that...and don't let the door hit ya in the butt lol! No time for playing into his drama antics right now. Also to breathe around here...had my new fountain delivered and visited with Cinnamon, talk with others on phone, PS3, FB, not really starving for intelligent communication nor do I have to hold anyone's hand and baby step them (well...except a few young players in the games but only because I don't mind ;) Glad I didn't remarry him and take his last name :P Not about to happen either and BEGGING Shell and the breeder to let me add them to my will. Talking with attorneys to update it. Last time my sister gave him a dog before we split for a year...the poor thing ended up in a homeless girls hands. Don't EVEN want to think what happened to little Sadie. I had sooo many red flags from the first date I asked him out on to the first week I moved him into my lake house. I'm really sooo good with what he wants.

To add to the chaos so my idle time will be pleasant...I had the Terminix pest control contract renewed and added the new mosquito service they have. So far it seems to work!!! I just told them to PLEASE don't come and spray the outside...then wait till we get together and do the inside. Running all the bugs in here from outside really makes things worse. And I really am usually THAT busy lol :D  Except my mornings :) I can nurse 2-3 coffees for about 3 hours over the news and gaming :}  Takes time for a dyslexic to figure out what planet she is on, her name, and where are my eyeballs :l the little nim nose PS3 Home games aren't that involving nor require too much attention lol!

So still have to hook up TV in guest room and get it to handshake one of my PS3 systems, then download the dish app to it and call Dish for the code to enable it in there. It won't extend my
contract and it's only $7 per month!! Awesome how things are these days! Plus they can play HD movies or rent blu ray ones...whatever they want...including game :) Although they are Xbox people
lol...I'm sure they aren't coming out with their Xbox games so they will have to make do with PS# or my Xbox and it's games downstairs. Just where are those Final Fantasy and Sims players? Shell use to play :(((( Oh...and PS4? No home or blu ray but seems pretty awesome and has built in capture card! And I did steal a moment to play with my graphics program and start up my 3rd FB game account since the FB game one has over 2k lol (not to mention I don't play the FB games anymore since the PS consoles are now working!!). Just slapped some colorful smoke brushes on and threw chrome initial up :/  Talking about a quickie lol :D

1 of these trees..ain't like the other :l
Anything else I may need to do...I will try but I am sure I won't get it done. It's ok too. They aren't so much guests as they are dear family :) I think the kids will have a blast doing the go cart, helping me roof the dog house, pulling out the teak table to seat 8-10 and staining the middle...and if not...there are those game consoles lol. Or movies. Or crafts. Or drawings, blackberries, exploring, tree house building, visiting cousins, going into the city, etc. :) They can find me in the mornings paing homage to java, PS, and the news with hair disheveled :l

Talking Texas de Brazil for Bdays, seeing the largest cypress tree in the world, catfish, family, stocked wet bars, BBQ's, watermelon, photos, music...and lots of hugs :) Definitely dropping my brushes, hammers, cement, and probably neglect the gardens a tad in lieu of love and fun! Got to call my brother too and let him know "incoming" lol. I keep wanting to join him in a multiplayer game on Xbox but not sure if he has time anymore but I'm sure he will stop and join for  some family reunion time as well! It will be a wild ride and we will all turn our backs in unison to drama for some good memories!

And this months bdays to most of us, step dad, dad, me, Memory, Danny....oh dear....tooo many of us lol!! :D It's aaalllll good in the neighborhood! Well...idling over here on the blues trail for now anyhow ;)

*And Oh my gosh!! How can I forget? Kudo's to my cuz for literally burying my grandmother by digging her grave by hand on a Sunday! I wept when I learned that. He's just always been there for us all. Seems the guy with the back hoe wasn't going to work on a Sunday NOR let them use it in the family grave yard. How cruel and sad but thanks and tons of good karma to Chad!*


Thursday, July 17, 2014

Coming Together Again

Things are a bit crazier than usual this week with Jim in Georgia and looking at a house, my daughter touching down in California from Japan the past 24 hours, and I have 2 king beds on the landing to go back into 2 of the bedrooms, cousin finishing 5 ton AC conversion for one floor and making sure both floors are running, fountains ordered for my step dad's birthday and custom one for the balcony, lights done on the balcony and prep for painting house....did I mention calls trying to get test results from out of network doctor and nothing for over a week, still trying to get MRI rescheduled from network doctor going on 4 months now? They are scaring me. Almost 4 months and I will wait for their promised call for 2 weeks so I won't feel like a stalker :l  Either they are forgetful or just want to drop the ball but I deserve the results at least along with an explanation. I think I will have to go back to my general physician and request insurance network doctors up in TN. :/  At least the Ms. docs nurses don't tell me they are doctors, omg.

I have learned through they years not to let all the madness get to me. I do what I can and if those around me don't understand the disarray...then they need to learn lol. It was great to see a cousin and talk of family this week. He laughed about me still spending money others left to tape on the walls of my restaurant bar (I spent the big bills and find sheets of ones now and then). I cried, laughed, and
learned new things like how he had to dig my grandmothers grave because the guy with the back hoe refused to work on Sunday. I also talked with a couple more family members from my mother's side online (FB) while they are visiting the land that has been in the family for probably about 100 years or more. And my paternal family of Virginia with all the roads named after us (Holland), it was disappointing to see the house prices out of our budget. Jim's work is looking for someone out near Richmond and also an opening in Raleigh NC. I tried to look in between the 2 hoping to take on both cities lol but nothing so Ga. is hopeful. I do love this house here and it is in God's hands....I hope. I asked for direction and good with whatever wind or still calm he brings.

But man I feel bad about the over busy realtor I have him meeting tomorrow! I really should've looked for someone who had more time for us since we have to come from out of town. I home in on what I want, check the aerials, HOA fees, location, photos, demographics, sq. footage etc. and know what I am looking for and what I can work with until this one is sold or rented so there isn't a lot of leg work they have to do. With as many houses as my daughter has bought between California, Hawaii, and Florida...I always wished she was a realtor but she just graduated and is now a doctor! Not sure exactly what kind of doctor and she didn't have to do 6 full years like I did but she already has job offers and I am proud of her! Most of my family is small business owners so I am glad that I am not alone in obtaining a higher education amongst us all ;)

So for now I will go between cleaning up projects around here, setting up guest rooms, securing dogs, finishing taxes, and call every 2 or 3 weeks to these doctors for test results (lord why am I paying for this?!???). I am going to focus my energy on the few brief moments I get to see my daughter and grandchildren before they are off again. These meetings or pass bys are precious to me. Time flys so quickly when you've covered most of the miles on your journey through life.

Till then...I made a video (playing) from the pics I had on this computer of us all coming together through the years. I hated I didn't have any of my grandparents but I wish all love, peace, understanding, and togetherness. Especially those in Gaza and Israel.

Sunday, June 29, 2014


Still trying to get appt. rescheduled with the doctor in my insurances network and it's been 3 months since I had to cancel...but can't get rescheduled :l  I don't know why it is so difficult to go to the doctor anymore but it seems the world is totally backwards or upside down. I think Obama is a nice man and always tried to say something nice about him but I think he just made the low ranks whereas leaders are concerned. Especially when he traded 5 convicted terrorists for one soldier who left his post. Seems the lame are favored; like the nanny seeking law suits and squatting in the house of her former employers. WTH is wrong with people??!? I know they have rights but when it is written soooo clear and large on the wall...wouldn't that allow the righteous to have double the rights or something? Anything?

Bulbs from same pack
Now my son in law is one term short from a full career in the marines but they prefer him to retire now with no mustering or whatever like my dad, grandfather, great grandfather, etc. Isn't his fault those CIA behaved immorally when watching Obama. That training was up to their parents lol. He is a sweet, smart, loving man whose children are kind, grateful, very intelligent, and the most loving kids anyone could come across. Very well behaved. I am very proud of them but no longer do I fly a flag for this country at this time where we are Corporate America and driven further from the hands of good sound citizens. We are slowly removed from being a nation under God...more under AT&T and horrid Insurances, etc. I try to spend more and more money toward Europe, Christian based companies and refrain as much as possible from places like Walmart or other places hiring immigrants in other countries to make their products. It will kill me to say goodbye to Horchow but at least they rectify something quickly and are soooo friendly. It just takes up too much time to send something back and hope the replacement will the 2 lamps here. I ordered one for my foyer table but thought it belonged in the dining room so ordered another to have the pair replace the buffet lamps I had and didn't match as well. Not only are they of different heights, weights, and fabric but the finish is different too (one is more 'antiqued', the other, gold). I guess they don't have quality control in china :/

Neighborhood Grass Terrorist
Well my internet is down right now but since I am in this page, I thought that I'd blog anyway and keep it up until it decides to connect me to the outside world. I still have this equipment that needs to be hooked up and guess I won't see that guy anymore so WTH am I supposed to do with all this? And the PS 4 is still in the box lol. I think the judge I see will be fair and reasonable. That's all. But if my neighbor keeps blocking my husband and leaving ruts in the yard, I think suing him when I plant my azalea's out there will be difficult in court because he is from here. Billy Bub's, John Boy's, and Bubba's are always the cousin of someone's friend around these parts so I think they side with that mess :P Hopefully not but the boy just looks money hungry and I can only assume he is trying to provoke Jim to knock his block off so he can sue or something. They don't even have their children so that is already a HUGE red flag in my books. Probably got some meth lab in their basement with some of the people in and out too. What those with drug money gets us. A white trash neighborhood terrorist :l

Excited to see my daughter and her family. She has graduated so I can just give her the boxes from Christmas and money to help them start out. Of course when they find a place I am just dying to buy her something very nice as a house warming too :} More than likely from Potterybarn, Horchow, or QVC. They have been my favorite shop spots the past year or so. My 4 yr. old grandson will have a blast in the dog's house. Jim worked on it for Father's day and Paro's birthday weekend while I made watermelon coolers, orange sorbet, and ground up rib eyes for hamburgers on the grill. Maybe we can get him a little chair and they will let us get them a puppy while they are here. We will do the roof in brown with brown trim and Jim still has to cut the dog bone window out and lay some sod. Of course the painting and gardening with dog friendly plants will be last (I had to plant some for now so I could maneuver around the patio without using a GPS lol).

My step dad came out last weekend too. I tried to spoil him as much as possible and enjoyed his company. I sucked him for all I could on his gardening knowledge lol. He and my mother inspired me to grow climbing roses, butterfly bushes, purple crepe myrtle etc. like theirs. Now I have sooo many and lost for what to do with them. A lot of them are already planted on the front 3 acres but a bit apprehensive with the behavioral deficient neighbor running lose :/ What neighborhoods do they tell their kids to go ride their AV's in the neighbors yards and not theirs anyway? Oh well...I've been blogging about doing the gardens and of my plans. Not like it's anything new lol. He'll just have to pay for what he runs over and I'm not going to let him stop my plans nor wait for him to find respect of other's property. Some people and things are a bit slow here. Ok. Maybe a lot lol :D

And I'm dumb too. To trust in others thinking they will get something right or believe their word is good. But to lose faith in our county...ohhhh brother! That's a scary thought. But really...we haven't gotten much better and releasing the terrorists is several steps backwards, a waste of all that money towards war that put us in an economic crunch, and made us more vulnerable.

But kudos for this town for cleaning up the hospital in the time we have lived here as well as getting the first practicing doctor AND commercial! That's progress. Nice to see we aren't going backwards there. And if  Obama can tear down what we have worked sooo hard to do in obtaining those responsible for the 9/11 attacks....maybe we can reverse this Obama care mess and move forward when his term is up. Of course I am still waiting for us to undo this Corporate America mess we've been in since the 80's and the thought of another 2.5 yrs. with him is depressing. Like all this rain we've been having. Only sunshine for 2 weeks so far this summer. Or working sooo hard on this place in the house, removing trees, growing plants and grass only to have another set us back? Dear Lord I need an hour on a couch with someone intelligent (and not a nurse who says she is a doctor :l).

Maybe we will get to put it in reverse by renting this place and moving out of state. Or country that my husband's work is international?!? Ahhhhhh. What a lovely thought :}
Now to put it in drive and let Horchow know that not only FedX is hapless, but that China is slipping too. Still :/

*UPDATE: Horchow is not only replacing it by shipping one out now but they are also sending someone out to pick the odd one up so I won't have that long drive to the nearest FedX! :D How awesome is that for service?!?? :))))) Never goodbye to service like that ;) ~sigh~ :}

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Happy P, Happy Day

Happy 6th birthday, Paros!

Thursday, June 5, 2014


I've been offline for about a month but it was fixed for a few days after holy week. Tech said it must have froze up when the tree people hit the power line. Then when it was out for about 2 weeks...that tech said squirrel ate the line :l  I think the electric company's tree removal guys must have done something to the wire when they hit it. They were really nice though and reimbursed us for the new mailbox and plant though and I've been gardening and almost finished edging around some new gardens I've started around here.

Didn't go on vacation though. We did board the dogs, rented an SUV, talked with Carnival about not being able to print our boarding passes due to no internet but it was all good. We were trying to hit our platinum membership with them lol so we are starting to feel a bit like family. I was worried about my promise not to board Paros again and both he and I were a bit sick so when Jim and I talked about how we would prefer our own bed and to hang with the dogs anyway on our route to Tampa, we just turned around in Atlanta to come home. Both of our spirits improved even though we missed the boat ;)

We did some house repairs and worked a bit on renovations. Jim cleared some side property and removed some trees that were leaning toward the propane tank along with a couple that were just not right. We got some supplies to finish Paros's dog house and I started a garden and lighting by his 'summer house' as we call it :) We also bought my stepfather some sheets and a duvet along with some other stuff for his bedroom remodel, took short trips with the dogs, shopped, and just spring cleaned around the house. I did have to go to the ER though with another CAT scan :/ And most of this would be going on if the techs didn't have me troubleshoot my issues or insurance would have just allowed a chiropractor or someone look at my neck and back from the falls and trip over wires with the 6 hour connect tech over the phone that time :P

Last week I just made an appointment to a real doctor (that wasn't in the 'network' of course) after never receiving any call backs to reschedule my MRI or Xray from the doctor that was in the network 2 hours away. I have never seen him even in passing the 4 trips I was up there nor got anything more than information that I have lesion on my liver (which is no big deal normally) from all the procedures they did do to date by a nurse. She had to go back and forth soooo many times. I feel like I went through the mess the VA hospitals are dishing out (at least they are on waitlist to see a doctor!! I get nurses :/). Kudos to Obama for getting angry about that. Is this mess Ms. health care, new laws, Obama care, or did I just get a dud of an insurance company? It's $600/month just for me and I had 2 insurers for a month until I found out that Assurant like UHC had the network thing. Omg. Just when the saleslady said they didn't :( Horrid services in America and changes I don't care for but I plan to write someone about dropping this mess enabling me to just have that $600 or most of it to keep paying for a real doctor!

And he has me pegged. I didn't say OMG, OMG, OMG...but he told me not to say OMG, OMG, OMG... I'm dying lol. He says the tests they run are general and ran a specific one. They didn't even make me come back so they could pull 2 days of blood from me nor did they collapse the one good vein I have left!!! :D And OMG. The stress level from AT&T, Insurance, and contaminated water was up there (it is coliform...not E coli like the surrounding towns they say). I can't get it through my head not to rinse a cup or dog bowl before going to the cooler and it could be just gastroenteritis. I'm hoping anyway. At least it will be a second opinion WITH information and not "There's nothing more I can do for you" :l

So I think I now see the differences between the health dept., clinic, and doctors office :)  I've only know doctor's offices other than the little urgent cares for little spider bites or something minor. I have visited the health dept. for testing potential boyfriends before getting serious. Jim still laughs about that.

Well, maybe now I can get this stupid neck and back corrected (arm still tingling and neck pain with occasional lower back). Can't get into my games or do firmware so PS 4 still in box but I did dust it lol but I just quit after the second time they told me to disconnect the phone again. And I did find a service that will give me unlimited everything via satellite (not Dish but kudos to them for being straight up about no gaming or movie downloads, which I prefer PPV anyway). Only took 4.5 yrs but that's ok. Surely a judge will relieve me from this mess.

The town still has no doctor. They just lost the one that retired before I moved here. He was a nice man. He died in a house fire in Jan. I hope his son who took care of our property finds his way. He was worried about not getting his meds so now with all that AND losing his dad...I know it must be hard for him. He was always so sweet trying to give me meds for stuff but I'd just say I'd prefer to see a doctor. I guess it's just the way things are done around here. I dunno. And the doc that took his place but never saw anyone, new or old patients, moved to Montana :l He seemed ok but hear he didn't really want to work anyway. Wish somebody would just tell me to drop my hammer and buy this place. I'd go too :)

About Paros's grooming? Well...he bit the head of the groomer (no skin broken) and I think he is missing his duclaw. He has to go to the vet's this week because he won't let me near it but gets around great and all ok other than that. I flunked him and he is starting classes again next week. He will stay, lie down, sit, leave it, play dead, etc. but when we are in public...NO WAY!! He is too excitable like me with the shopping. Real merchandise!!!  Not from TV or internet!!! :D But I love my Horchow, Dillards, Pottery Barn, and QVC (hit them hard with no internet lol!). Changed our linens to escape from the dark browns and long winter we had so P got a monogramed bed cover and I had the duvet to replace his blanket on our bed monogramed JPJ (Joyce Paros Jim lol :D).

Nuff for now. I'm sure I forgot lots I need to document but lots of stuff going on and I'm just trying not to let all this mess stress me. I'll just do a lot of writing, try to resolve things via phone, and speak to attorneys for direction. Maybe I can pay them to deal with the stress of it all and resolve these issues that aren't right for me. Maybe I'll get someplace but I do know that there is NO PLACE like home! :D

Even without a fully functioning internet, services, or it's dwellers :l


Friday, April 4, 2014


Wouldn't ya know my liver has been fine and the ONLY pill I am taking now is for my BP which really shot up earlier today when I learned AT&T has stood me up for the 4th time this week. It was for work I was going to pay for; line ran upstairs to boost signal strength and speed for the game stations, smart TV, and one of the computers. In the middle of it all...the electric company came out before these last two appointments to cut branches on the neighbors trees that were interfering with electrical lines. Not my trees mind you...but wouldn't ya know it would be MY mailbox and MY electrical pole that they would hit? So that crashed my PS 3 (PS 4 still in box waiting for AT&T to run that d*mn line) and made the signal go down even more. So I called them before these last 2 stood up appts. to let them know...trying to postpone their appt. in order to allow the electric company to fix the pole but they said no...they could do this with all that going on and made the 4th appt. for today.

Now when I call to will say that no one was here to allow them on premises this morning (said that yesterday too). Morning? No one here?!? So both days I called to speak with someone LIVE. They say noooo...we see it is for this afternoon (both days...writing names and times down) but sorry no one could make it out :l  And earlier when I called ...I get solutions like "Take the modem/router upstairs with you when you want to update stuff there...then bring it back down with you when you go onto the computer there". OMG! They aren't stupid...they are maliciously cruel and jacking me around! Another call the lady was in agreement and soooo nice stating I should try to unplug the phone and see if it boosts signal or speed since it was on the u-verse and not an actual land line. I did get 5% more but it was this 4th stood up appointment that Peed me off sooo bad...I staid on the phone trying to reach the correct department with Verizon to port over my number and at least be done with that part of AT&T! It's also cheaper ($20 a month) and didn't realize it was like a magic jack!! Shoot...I have no dropped calls, static, etc. like I sometimes do with AT&T. They worked on our 2cd line for the past 3 yrs with no crazy fluctuation in fees nor did they require service of equipment and no inept service!!!

Roatan, Honduras
Still going round with health insurance but with the Obama thing...I purchased another policy and a 'buy up' plan with current one. The new policy sales lady kept drilling in my head "NO NETWORK" lol and it was on the day I understood with 3 different agents with UHC that Network Doctors are those who have a contract to do cheaper services with them. Don't know why the others couldn't tell me that or why I can't see the other doctors out there closer to home that take their insurance. I guess it was the type of policy I had. No one could explain that ...nor will they probably explain the 'buy up' one either I am guessing but Assurant will take me and my pre-existing situations under their wing :} Unless the agent lied. I am hoping not.

I do understand the "Network" doctors (except for Dr. in Batesville) are few and FAR away lol so I had to reschedule my first appt. with them on a day where I could have someone drive me (some days
New Orleans, La.
the neck/shoulder with tingling arm is so intense...I am in tears). I can't even reach the office. I get their answering service so canceled but no return call yet to reschedule. Guess I am back on the phones with them next week :/  That's a sorry shame vets and their answering services are more professionally and personally serviceable than that. Maybe I need to keep finding a doctor that isn't going play 'communicate with the nurse to communicate with me' kindergarten game (like whispering a secret to one kid, they in turn repeat the secret via whisper until it reaches the last child who stands up to audibly announce to the room what he has heard). They did get the message to him about my anesthesia issues and he was going to do the x-rays on my neck to get the blockage/disc or whatever is pressing nerves and blood vessels corrected before scheduling the procedures that require anesthesia. And that makes sense. I/vets wouldn't do that to a dog. If they put me or a dog under...then moved him causing a burst of blood flow to the brain of medicine or injectables...death could ensue. So whew. It only took 4 visits over an hour and a half away to get that message out! You'd think I'd have met the doctor by now but nope. Haven't. Must be in the contract lol :D What kind of crap was that for $350 per month? And what will they give me for $600 a month?!? Both policies are that so I really have a lot of work next week reading them...if they ever send the policies to me. Maybe like an AT&T thing...who knows but I intend on calling them ALL DAY until I get my answers. EVERY day. And figure why the doctor hasn't paid me. Along with some other things.

Barcelona, Spain
So I have those days I just hoof it around the house because the arm/shoulder/neck thing is that bad to where I can't even drive in town. My sister and others see the bulge. Think I can get the insurance or one of their doctors to notice? Well...the doctor in Batesville but I think he was so frustrated in trying to find one of those elusive 'Network' doctors or trying to get my insurance to do the MRI is why he just blurted out "there is just nothing more I can do for you". Nothing like health insurance ran like AT&T tying doctors hands behind their back to where they can't do their job and your situation just grows worse by the day, month, and year. How loud do I need to scream or how many break downs will be enough? I think there are some things that just need to be investigated...and these are 2 of them.

Marseilles, France
But God let me know he was still here when 2 clean cut, personable, friendly, astute college young men with not only all their teeth in their mouth but cleaned, genetically sound and beautifully structured came to me while I was watering the plants yesterday in a nice double cabbed pick up trailering a nice riding mower smiling and handing me a flyer they created offering yard services!!! How professionally well done it was and ambitious of them! You could tell by their demeanor they come from a fine family and learning the lessons of independence by creating a small business between the 2 of them! I was sooo taken back and very impressed that I am just LOOKING for work for them to do cheering on their success! Hoping maybe they can catch the bushes or remove the trees I want downed this year. People of that caliber is very rare here and services...well...I almost think it is non existent here :(

Piazza San Marco; Venice, Italy
Hopefully I won't be looking for rides to doctors I never meet far away (then get a "limited to visits" by the insurance crap) or hoofing it much longer. Maybe I won't have to keep calling them or the answering service and we can schedule to get this done soon. Hopefully. Maybe I can even get my PS 4 hooked up. It's bad enough AT&T won't tell you u-verse is UPnP un-enabled but when you can't even get the speeds to install your equipment without it crashing is a shame. I am adding all machines to the suit since there are all these issues and they can't fix it along with the ER bill when their connect tech had me bridge my router to their router/modem that night for 6 hours crashing the other 2 computers and causing me to trip over the wires throwing that spine out even more than the other 2 falls (one pulling up phone wires troubleshooting speed issues :/). I just hope maybe the judge will here my desperate plea for mercy or relief and direct me to an attorney to just have them buy this house so I can move to an area that can service me like I requested before buying this place (which I do love other than all the mentioned above :/). I will not only ask the realtor....but neighbors if there is more than 1 service for internet!! And adding doctors/vets with ER services in the network too :P

Actually...that any and all basic services I may need are in walking or cab distance in case...God forbid please...any of this happens again :(((( Nor will I hear "They can get online in prison...maybe you need to ask THEM how to do it" :/

And the "2" on the PS 4's been actually 2 months and pushing 2 weeks that I bought it. I dust everything except that :/ Added more travel pics...I really need to get out of here since I can't drive much right now.

Guess we have to buy new mailbox and mandevilla vine this weekend. Glad I didn't paint the mailbox this spring yet :l I'm sooo ready for Honduras again next month! And maybe another plane trip over Belize Cayes ;)
*UPDATE: Jim brought to my attention a flyer was left on the door with the time of 1:00 on it. Ok. I'm wrong on this one...a little bit. Must have been a new tech because for over 3 years the steady tech already knew to call when he pulled in the driveway. This house is not only large, but has solid doors making it difficult to hear. The intercom and camera for doors won't be hooked up until the internet is stable. I also noticed that I was so stressed about it all...I was nauseous and liver was swelling (something to mention to doc next visit).

But with that said...when I went to repay Wells Fargo the extra money they had given me about a week ago (knew this was going to be an issue...yet banker laughed saying '1st time I heard that'). I requested something in writing stating it was their fault and assumed their computers weren't tied in to that branch at the time. They agreed but not to the letter. A large bank WILL NOT admit fault :P But the banker did say he was having issues with his internet at home and had only 1 more year with them. I laughed and said "You have AT&T and can't game!" He was surprised and asked how did I know that. Omg...I just let him know the new U-Verse doesn't enable UPnP! They are still wrong for the other 3 missed appts. What else was I to assume other than they struck out again?!? (Omg! Thanks for the photo!! I LOVE it!!! :D)