Thursday, July 30, 2015


Sometimes it seems things have been going south for a good while now and there has been no exception this week. It has been rough with checking out insurances, banks, wrapping up taxes, doc tests which has pulled blood 3 times and had to hit my hand because my veins are just gone :((( Oh...and when I'd get done with the tests...I'd have to visit billing to correct some mistakes there. Having the bank print up checks for paid visits billing couldn't find where they put the money not to mention charge me more copay than what is on my plan so they need more time. Ok by me. I need my time back and if least time to take a breather from it all. Cherry on the cake was when the health insurance wanted a drug test on me. Hell...I want an investigation on them so ok. Let's play! Even though I did see the new doctor walk down the hall on my 7th visit and relieved to know one exists the hour and 40 minutes away (unlike local hospital...which now has a doc and commercial wooo hooo lol :D), I am learning from everyone everywhere I go and talk to that I am the only one that has paid to see a doctor and yet not see them :o WTH?!? At least the car I had to get will be tax deductible. Still scratching my head on why they could not send the gap form out I requested twice.

OMG...Lynz's shoes lol :D
Still scratching my head too on why is it that uninvited people or strangers can be on my property, trip, and my insurance can cover them but if ATT has me trouble shoot their issues here or when the power goes out and I fall down the stairs I can't :l. Would love the answer to that question. Of course I got ATT working and the electric company did come put a new transformer up but I am concerned about the holes the neighborhood dogs dig in the yard :/ I guess I just need more no trespassing or "Go on and get" signs lol :D Man, I am feeling like a recluse redneck more each day over here :l I am still kind of mad that the local hospital would even keep the nurse that told me she was a doctor here. I sometimes think a lot of my nerve damage would have never occurred if I was under a general practitioners care and was properly diagnosed. Then by the second fall from pulling up phone lines for ATT...the bone doc that put the plate in my arm/wrist would've known to tell the anesthesiologist about my neck injury. Of course I told him I had a neck and lower back injury from the falls just the same so who the hell knows? No one is telling me :((( That's why I've been ok with going far out of town for health care. Even the hospital half hour north of me is underwent changes in name and people (thank you God!!).

Pink Punk Cartoons :)
But I did steal a moment to have lunch with my oldest daughter. She has been my prankster and colorful little birdie growing up :) I really love her music and she gave me one of their second CD's. I also found out they have played their music on the local radio stations in Memphis. I just mention her younger sister as the "booby prize" (a silly yet loving term) and really going to miss that one but she needs to find her way out from whatever mess she is in. As for the eldest "carnival queen"...I am really excited about going on a cruise with her and my son in law. Just wish I could've had a drink with her but I had to drive and it was a long way home. She was having a "Pink Punk Manhattan" with cotton candy something or another lol. My silly little carnival family :}

I have seen some changes I like that Obama has done like drug them less time. I never did understand why they did more time than some murderers or child perpetrators. I mentioned a while back I thought he was the most decent president, but didn't get much done so one of the most lame concerning politics. I see now that isn't so and would like to retract that. It appears to me that the legislature has given him such a hard time all these years so a BIG "I AM SOOO SORRY" for that! Appears to me he has been the only president in a long time to put our concerns as a people first whereas Reagan was business, etc.

More new age selfies lol :D
So a huge 'Thank You" to Obama and his wife, and other people and businesses that make my life easier like the women at my bank, Dyson, Kenmore appliances, Cannon Chevrolet, the rocking chick helping me with my house and reminds me of my oldest girl, other people I've met along the way that made things clearer or validated on what is going on IS WRONG. I tipped one server $30 on a $40 bill at Olive Garden just because he was astute, hard working, friendly, and pursuing college at the same time. It's great to know there is a decent younger generation of people coming about and then those who are my age that service, inform, and care. Knowledge is power and I am voting for local officials on the 4th along with Initiative 42 (the funding for schools here politicians promised). I won't vote for my girl Daphne though. I've asked her every year for just 4 inches of shelf space to carry ANY brown hair dye but I guess since I am the only white girl that goes into her beauty supply house here in town...I didn't matter to her :P Don't know who is opposing her but it will be checked anyhow lol :D. And the jury is still out on DISH. Still don't know why they tell me I would have to start my contract over if I re-added Hopper on there when my youngest daughter and her family moved in with me last year yet have been charging me for it anyhow all this time. I wouldn't have gotten DirecTV!!

The people that have hit me the most lately though have been a friend of almost 20 years and my son in law. A big thanks to them. I love and respect them for their friendship, honesty, loyalty, etc. I think of my father's words a lot and God for being there throughout my life and continually picking me up when I fall and making the path I need to be on clear to see. He is always there. I try to remember KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid. I'm here and may only pass this way once so the best residual effect I can leave behind is one of love and that I care. People, actions, and things do matter to me. How we are treated and the services we receive or don't receive are noted. This house will be here long after we are gone but it will show it mattered to us and we've treated it with respect and love and that it was more than a house, it is/was our home.

Clearing old driveway

And even though I am a part of the older generation now...I'm still working on the 'community' part. We all need to remember that regardless the age or time left here that we need to unite to empower one another and stand together for just causes. No one should be abused by big corporations or settle for the treatment like there was a "KICK ME" sign on your back. Leave it in God's hands and ask for direction. You'll eventually see the way he wants you to go if you trust him.

I have a large decision to make in the next 24 hours along with a final diagnosis/prognosis in the next 2 weeks (My neck has been killing me lately with all the commuting and liver shot probably because of some stress and boil water advisories on the news for a couple of towns away so more than likely...this town too...who knows :/) so I am taking it easy for the next couple of days to heal because I believe August will bring about a new path and journey. And with all the good changes along with awesome people I meet along the way...and wherever we may end up in the end...I am feeling really good about it and in good hands :)

This one's for you...Shar. We still have a lot of road before us :)

Wednesday, July 22, 2015


Rare do I get to blog back to back but seem to have wasted my time one of those businesses that say one thing and do another :/ I really miss the times when things were clear cut and everyone said what they meant but it rained today and everything I had in my 'Too Do" book was for outside. My taxes are ready to roll out the door as well except for my year end paperwork with the mortgage company and I did find out I've been auditing myself all these years lol. I didn't have to file extensions while I hunted down all the tax deductible receipts which are in several different folders like "Home Reno's", "Medical", "Receipts"...then go through the years statements, itemize checks needed for the bank to print out....all that. I guess when the company I worked for would go in and close banks down in the 80's with the FBI for the IRS taught me not to EVER throw any receipts away lol and that they would always be needed for taxes but no one told me just for when you were audited! And if it's not enough...there is way more where that came from so oh my hell with the paperwork!!

I did have more photos I took of the niece and nephew from when they staid here for a week and this work I call "Paros in Blue" from my PS CS5 art program. Hate they changed over to a yearly subscription service. I'm still a hard copy girl and just not about 'renting' things :P I guess I will play
Jim's Butterflies :)
more video games the day PS CS5 is obsolete. It's what I've been doing lately since Elder Scrolls Online came out. I just really don't watch TV except for the occasional block buster movie, local weather, or national news. I kind of eye National Geographic or Travel channel now and then along with my 'duh' time on the patio around the gardens with the humming birds during the summer or winter crafts. I was hoping to start the kitchen reno's but we put that off to get our house appraised (which was between my lowest and highest estimate so not bad!). I guess instead of doing it in one fell will be slowly and in phases :/  I have a lot to sell anyway to clear the path and it seems I confused everyone on craig's list about the go cart so I just gave my cousin the new engine, won't mention the old frame, and just sell the running go cart. No project starters in with the bundle lol :D Just an adult sized go cart should be simple enough and as for the other things...I will do them all at one time so I will be here to answer the phone and show them all on weekends when Jim is here :)

Maddy's Mask...cut, shape, paint!
So we will just suffer a bit more with the contaminated water that seems to come about twice or so a year until I am able to get the cabinets and reverse osmosis system in but demolition and electrical come first, then windows. Cabinets will come in between the counter tops, painting and light fixtures. I did FINALLY find some fixtures for the bathroom! And Jacuzzi tub skirting so it is almost complete!!! It has come a LONG way from the ugly fluorescent lighting with gold peel and stick vinyl and I am quite happy with it so hopefully I will have before and after photos of it and the original driveway we've been clearing down the front 3 acres. I've been growing the swamp mallows (large hibiscus), some crepe myrtles, etc. to line the drive when we are done so they are well established. Did have issues with the lavender but plan to buy some pecan and walnut trees. The shells will reinforce the drive.

Till then...can't wait for Caribbean vacation with the eldest daughter and her husband but back at the starting gate with the kitchen, downstairs flooring, and electrical work. Cash out of pocket on the reno's is really better anyway. Just more equity for me if we ever need to relocate for some reason. And if I go astray from where I need to be...I put it all in our father's hands and if he needs to put me back at the starting gate... I trust the driver ;)

NOT TO MENTION...the band lives! More importantly...they are working out their empty nest dilemma. A cut from my oldest daughters latest CD :))))

Tuesday, July 21, 2015


Still nothing new in the way of leather or art except teaching the children (nieces and nephew) how to make masks. They are really seem to have a strong penchant for it and have been a pleasure to be around. The one that is my grand daughters age isn't even interested in boys or walking down to the highway to meet some, although I think my grand daughter was under peer pressure from the friend she made here the month she attended school (daughter pulled her out when she seen she was interested in a black boy although I would have pulled them out 2 weeks earlier when I heard my grandson witnessed drugs going around in junior high!). They were soooo sweet and such innocent babes! I couldn't believe they lasted the week with me (Jim was in Atlanta. I think he lives over there lol :D).

I'm still trying to get taxes together this week, still haven't met that elusive doctor but did talk with my insurance on new doctors between Memphis and New Orleans. I was pleased to see my old doc in Louisiana accept the health insurance we carry and I can visit the chiropractor over this/these ruptured discs instead of neurosurgeons with their surgeries and nerve blocks. Still haven't validated that is where my nerve damage is coming from but would bet my life :P Other than that...we did all fall sick (dogs, children, and me) a bit so I'm sure it was from the water. Really need to get the kitchen done with the reverse osmosis system in so I can be done with that and can stay out of restaurants, diners, packaged foods, etc. :/

Did get out a bit with Jim. Took the dogs to see the buffalo for July 4th holidays 2 hours away, lots of restaurants till kitchen is done, hanging with sister, went to see a cousin this past weekend which puts Germantown out of the places to commute to specialists to when I saw that traffic btw! Man it's gotten crazy there. I guess really everywhere in the states and it's why there is such shortages on everything like food, water, etc. It's those things that make me appreciate the country even more but I still believe God will get us to where he thinks we should be. I know a lot of people don't even believe in him and I have a son in law I respect and love dearly (especially when he can speak truthfully and communicate on things that are hard to admit to ...unlike the other one who rolls his eyes when you say "God Bless" or plagiarize quotes from the bible adding his name to them. I just think he is a dumb drunk asshole that has restored my faith in the Government when they saw through him and forced him to retire lol. I hated to have to 'defriend' my daughter on FB but after that hit me how STUPID I WAS to engage in serious conversations with drunks :/  I'll get nowhere fast with that lol and it's not like they really ever have a sober day. Maybe one or two a week if that from what I've seen but when you hide it a lot or are in denial about how much you drink...just go back to the closet and stay there until you can face the real world with sobriety and truthfulness.

So maybe one day I can carry on with art tutorials, links, photos, etc. but for now...I'm still correcting a lot of issues I've come up against when I moved here (ATT has been great!!). I realize now there was a reason for it all. Hurricane Katrina on my birthday with her eye dead over my beach house, seeing my parents laid to rest within the year I moved here, now watching a younger brother become a man and start a family of his own, and even a sister come out of drugs and enter a world of sobriety. Not to mention our own :) Jim said this place reminded him of Sodom and Gomorrah. I even feel like I found at least one old contact from here that is still a decent person along with a few new ones :) It would also be nice to see, not the black race, but the white race, become considerate enough to put themselves in the black races shoes and take another look at the rebel flag. How cool it would be to remove it from state and other official places and show them we care! I tell a couple black lady friends that I never looked at it as a race thing. I was just always 'Getting my freak flag on to whoop it up and be a rowdy fool on the weekends. I guess I was always just rebelling against normal mundane convention in lieu or a wild weekend ;)

Wednesday, July 1, 2015


White Aunt Jemima
I may complain lots about the state of Mississippi but there is a lot of good to be said for it. Like the nature (not over ran by big cities), the blues, farming, and gun laws. When a cousin came over this past week...he and Jim discussed how many blacks tote guns in Memphis and stories of encounters of non registered gun owners waving them around at them 2 or a various number of stories. Guns will be owned illegally just the same if they pass laws opposing the law abiding citizens who register their firearms like us (who not only need them for protection, but living in the country, we need them to fend off harmful critters as well). I almost don't recognize this country anymore. No God, no pledge allegiance, violence in schools, neglected children with both parents working, drugs that run rampant on our streets, major corporations lack of services and unorthodox charges...good grief I could go on.

But when it comes to the shooting in the black church in South Carolina...I am for a small minor change. The state flags of the old south. What are we going to rise again for? Slavery? I have one. Jim lol :D And I guess I am his too :/ I even voted for the flag to remain but it wouldn't hurt to show
an act of consideration and kindness...or humanity...and come together for this. This state is already poor and I don't know where they'd get the money to do it...nor do I know what they do with the money from all the casinos here. It sure isn't put into schools, health care, doctors, roads, etc. Yet I feel sorry for the young shooter. I blame his parents for teaching him to hate the entire race like that. And white supremacists use that flag for their racial cause. Hell...this war has been over for over 150 yrs and I was just a kid in the 60's when they didn't have their rights so vaguely remember that. My parents talked good about some black folk, and bad about others so I took it as MLK said...'quality of people'. But on the other hand, they should make the young black males pull up their damn pants! I am sooo disgusted by having to view their drawers and see the crack of their butt in line at the stores.

As for the gay rights...still all about them having their own kind of ceremony. I do adhere to God's word. Doesn't mean I dislike them as people. I went to a gay friends funeral this week. I also witness the pentecost preacher ignore and not acknowledge her girlfriends presence in her life and mentioned how they changed Tami's view on her deathbed (breast cancer). And even though it is a sin...we are all sinners...smokers defile the temple/body...I swear when mad...others gossip. Doesn't mean he will not take them into heaven. Maybe on another level. I am not the Dalai Lama who was raised to aspire to a state of divinity but I do strive to improve myself the best I possibly can with how I was raised and what I have to work with.

And what do you say to children who swing, do drugs, etc.? Normal circumstances, you have raised them and are close to them and you are able to have these discussions. My girls both were taken and hidden out. I didn't find one until she started school, and the youngest was exiting. We say the oldest one is the singer and youngest swinger. Family joke about all the kids are one has clown hair, one circus tits, other clown car :l I've been mad at the youngest, or swinger, and I am just learning that it is hooking. I know I mentioned this but we are still not close and I am over the lies or how she can't call me because she is busy. If she'd pay her bills and not rent ostentatious homes above their budget and pay their bills, my stepfather wouldn't have to put down his 3 dogs on my deceased mother's birthday. I only really got to know the 2 of them really well these past 3-4 years since my mothers death. It's good to know where I stand too. I don't have time for BS or fakes, or where I stand, or confusion at all. I like solid ground and a clear road. And since they are having to move before their lease is up...I guess I can call the finance company they borrowed money from down the road for their address. He gave it to me last time lol! Nice man. I always have too much paperwork on my desk to find where I jotted something down on :/

Did get a new car to go to doctor 2 hours away in though (and propped my feet on his desk saying "what can you do for me" lol and "since you don't have a plant...I'll take the chevy bench!" :D ). He had just sold a car to Morgan Freeman's new girlfriend right before me but still...I was mad I had to rush a buy a car anyway. I had my 5th appointment with the specialist and have to start all my tests over again. They didn't even do the blood work they said they did so don't know what is exactly wrong. I took Jim this time and the missed work costs more but had a witness to this mess. So with the rescheduled appointments 2 hours up the car it was. Still haven't seen this elusive man so I have trust issues now but I get why my general practitioner thinks he is only an hour up the road (I'm thinking everyone speeds or just 'guns it' lol). He has that office an hour away but does NOTHING at it :l He did move it from a few folding metal chairs in a strip mall to a huge building...but still nothing. They have to retest me and I am upset because I kept trying to get them to reschedule the last procedure when the Miata's battery died. I feel sorry for the can tell they are OVERWORKED and he is a mean doc to work for. Been there, done that...Done there, been it :P Now I may have to drop my coverage down but I have a car to get there so WTH?!? Still have to get lower back looked at, arm is in pain all the time (where the bone broke, not shattered and plate replaced oddly).

Got treats?
So my kitchen remodel is on hold for now as we take the long way around resolving issues. I still have to do taxes and also had to repair upstairs central unit with a used one for now. It's all good though. I won't have 2 satellite TV companies to pay. Dish's contract expired last month so $71 per month for BASIC TV was crazy high anyhow. Direct seems to be the better deal. I also cut corners by running just window ac's since I am the only one here most of the time. And with the new Elder Scrolls Online...that keeps me busy from spending anything to where I even forget there is a new SUV parked behind the Miata lol :D I do like taking Paros for joy rides to the lake though. Also going to change my regular doctor to one who knows what is in their network and get this hand looked at...and what's with the dizzy spells. I will be able to stay on top of Paros's coat :)

It's good to know where I'm at with it all though. And where the girls are even if in a place I don't like...prayers are for they are decent women, healthy, and happy. If I don't like the place I'm in or people I'm around...I can always just gun it down the road!
PS...I said my piece on FB and not going to apologize. This is why I am imperative on where my dogs go when I pass because I hope no one does that to them...especially on my birthday...and just think..."Oh well. She isn't here and dead and they are only dogs". No reverence for deceased loved ones :((( And if people KEEP doing wrong...I don't even need people like that around me. Everyone I speak with agrees they'd be ballistic if someone abused their children/grandchildren as well. And I haven't mentioned things like tax evasion, insurance fraud, etc. so they need to just defriend me (or de family?) Please.
It's almost Friday but Sunday's a coming. Poor priest :l