Thursday, December 7, 2017


This has been the longest time between blogs these past 8 and 9 years or living here and I don't think there will be another one except maybe to post a photo of Paros when he crosses over. I fell into a deep depression when the doc dropped my insurance after going to another doctor for over a year and a half and NEVER meeting him so I was just shot. I tried to pick things up by planning to use Jim's vacation time to focus on finishing renovations to the house instead of travel so we did most of the floors and electrical in November and December. The power still kept flickering off and on even on a clear day so by January it finally fried a PlayStation 4, TV, and computer. 8K later coming out of Best Buy in Feb. we thought we were on track but it took 3 techs to connect them and everything was still not right.

Then Paros yelped when he was outside and limped in. I checked his leg and felt nothing through his thick mass of hair thinking maybe he sprained something. I gave it 2 weeks but he was still limping but felt a lump even though he showed no signs of discomfort so I shaved his coat off and there it was. A mass of some sort. Maybe a fluid build up or harmless snake bite, or infection? The vet X-rayed his leg and said it didn't look good, gave me some pain meds for him along with antibiotics or something and said come back in 10 days so I did. He said the same thing..."It doesn't look good, come back in 10 days". I asked him "What do you mean it doesn't look good?!? A snake bite, infection, or what?" He replied "I think it's cancer. It must me in the air...are you around any black mold?" No indeed so I take him to the oncologists and surgical team at Memphis Veterinary Specialists, ran skin biopsy, then bone...then the diagnosis...rare cancers...synovial sarcoma, bone carcinoma....WTH?!? I think from that moment on it was as if they slapped my soul out of my body into another dimension. I was blank.

They removed his leg and gave him a 7 months saying it was mesenchymal and not histiocytic which was a good thing or he'd only have 3 months. We remained positive throughout his healing process, even sending ViaGen tissue samples to cryogenically preserve (making me feel like I haven't totally lost him for some dumb reason) and it was a couple weeks later we have him walking about when we get the call my stepfather had a stroke in Louisiana but my youngest daughter decided to go to a wedding in California anyway so dogs in tow and throwing money on Credit Cards we zeroed out for his leg and to rent a house...we head to Louisiana and try to make it as much of a vacation as possible. I was in such a rush I didn't even notice I had rented out a 5 bedroom house on the bayou for the 2 of us :l I lmbo on that one and the fact that it wasn't until 5 days later I noticed my shoes didn't match lol! But Paros loved it and we saw my stepfather move from ICU, to regular hospital bed, then into a rehab facility outside the hospital (Catholic one which was beautiful but he hated it). His stroke left his speech a bit off but I understood 90% of what he was saying and Paros was loving the new sites and smells so I considered the trip successful and was ready to go back home to finish taking kitchen cabinets down and removing the flooring in there as well.

You don't think that went well do you?!? Driving up the lane we see lightning had hit a tree. Must have been a nasty storm this past may so getting inside the house we smell mold. WTH?!? Thinking about what the General Vet said about black mold...we are ripping through sheet rock, insulation and notice moldy water stains on the Masonite boarding against the brick under all the windows, notice the windows split more (wood was flying at me during an earlier pressure washing chore so I stopped) and even cracks in the walls. Although our insurance said they think the house just settled (after 43 years during a storm?!? Whatever :l ), we think different and continued to rip out cabinets and sheet rock (I am down to studs and figure WTH...may as well redo the plumbing too :/). We had also noticed a scabbing or non support board to have a break. They said if the top bedroom comes crashing down I'm not covered due to poor construction. WTH...this is/was considered to be one of the most well built houses in town and even though he brought out a constructional engineer who thought the house was sound too...we think the storm shook the ground knocking things askew a bit. But one man in town can have 7 fires in the time we are here and is covered to build bigger and better buildings...I need to change insurance companies! Unless he is with mine and they are broke from covering him over and over again...I dunno :/

No problem though...we were going to do the kitchen anyway but now our attention is focused on the windows that split away more and get Windows USA to replace ALL OF THEM. Remarkable job, service, price, and Alaskan windows to boot!!! We were really happy with them and even had some more trees removed but when it came to the roof...I wanted to go with the cop but could only afford the criminal by this time lol! Yes...2 guys came up cold calling looking to see if anyone needed roofing work and quoted me a price less than half of the others so how could I refuse? Said he'd been doing it for 25 years and although the ex cop may have had a shattered knee (hospital sent him home with that!!! Validation on hospital quality here :/)...I really wanted his roof but budget dictated other. And it wasn't until after the two guys were done with my roof did I find he had served time in prison and the other was crippled with rod in his leg. Relieved to find it wasn't a violent crime and liking them anyway I hired him to do other work but he fell off the later landing on his feet shattering them! And wouldn't you know this would be on the day my pharmacy (or docs office) doesn't have refills for me on my BP meds! I'm having panic attacks at first but guarantee you by day 3 I was ready for the ER. But I learned pot can work in a pinch...unless it burns your throat...and even though I think it is too easy to get a script for it in Colorado...I believe its medical properties are conducive to the health community and would like to see it legalized across the states for medical purposes. At least it you could be assured of what's in it and free from pesticides or whatever. I like my meat FDA inspected too so I don't do deer lol :D

It has been a long hard year and Jim and I have had our horns locked too from all the stress. I sometimes think I'll lose and walk away but I will NOT tolerate ANY violent action WHAT SO EVER anywhere! Probably why I never had a fight in my bar or others bars I've managed. You can even ask my oldest daughter when her private school called because she physically moved another girl from the front of the line. I grabbed her arm and slammed her down in the chair in the principals office and asked her if she thought that was right me forcing her into that chair and how did she feel about that? She NEVER had any altercation since that day in elementary school :) (exception...when she was attacked..she drop kicked the guy by kneeing his testicles!) Go girl ;) Now you got it! I just call it "Madea's Gritball" #MeToo lol! :D

Lately I've blown off the 2 hour drive to internist they say I should see instead of liver doc (Gastro) and have been going to a chiropractor to get this ruptured disc some relief along with lower back when the metal bar jabbed it when I fell backwards off that table shattering my wrist. I have feeling great! He said something like "You've been awakened" and that pretty much it! I figured I could gain mobility for the drive to the internist by doing this first. I have gained considerable movement and can distinguish certain areas and what is going on but blocked by the left side of my brain and head where the pressure has been in my ear. You can feel it. Mass is spreading toward my neck now and it is bigger. And the dizzy spells have gotten worse but I am having more good days than bad so I think I can make the drives to these doctors they say I should see. Even Paros's new masses in his neck are the size of a garlic bulb and tangerine and it is getting hard for him to use his back leg now. Last week was really bad for him and the first time it hit me that his 7 months are here but this week he has been better so I just pray we get through Christmas with him. It has been hard on my nerves with ALL the dogs and me evacuated to my bedroom area since the house renno has turned into a gut job :/ And my  computer in the office is fried now too (but we got a new power grid and the last few months have been ok concerning the flickering electricity outages!), so not much escape for me even though I have that room almost opened back up.

There have been other things like popcorn scraped off ceilings, siding repairs, trees removed, trees planted, painting, and Jim's off this week but brings home his head cold and waits to see the doc now and nothing has gotten done. His diabetes has his mood swings unbearable. I guess he needs attention too but I really have to focus on what becomes of Paros right now. There is green space (6 nature reserves) in the US where we can be buried with our pets but you can't be embalmed nor placed in a coffin. I had already spoken to an attorney here who just says they embalm you within 24 hours...but can I be shipped off before that? I need to speak with one more knowledgeable about these things because I don't want Paros buried alone and I think a cremation around Christmas will throw me over the edge. I'm already on the phone with counseling but wouldn't you know it is an hour and a half to drive to the nearest one? I did try to put some video thing on here Norton kept removing lol....and talking with one nearby wouldn't be good...bashing their state and all :/

So things are becoming clearer and I can fix a lot including the kitchen cabinets...some places will allow me to order them since no one has called back with their estimates around here. And no general contractor will come out to check and see if I need extra structural support so hopefully the insurance's engineer will charge me a fee and hand me a document stating I'm sound (ok..I just bust out on that one lmao!!! :D ) We'll see.

Till then...I can't fix Paros. Only God can. And if he is merciful...we will be together when we are both gone from this life. That is heaven to me.

Special thanks to Paros's Vets, Sony..excellent concierge service, Windows USA, my water guy for pushing my trees off into the ravine...and mostly...Dillards for the little party when I picked up my fox coat...sales lady/dance teacher for lead on Pro Stone to do my kitchen (fingers crossed!), the manager that knows of my Fleur de Paris on Royal in the Quarter, and my #1 lady that shows me the good stuff who is also a near death...we kept shocking each other! I called it "The Divine Spark" :)

Then there's Obama for internet, banning that chemical along with WHO used in our cotton fields, creating our first marine national park, etc....and yes...Michelle did have grit and took on an awesome cause that needed to be addressed! (I cried about his leaving in my doctors office :/). He became my favorite president (I still love Carter too :))

And forever, his breeders for being here with me through this. 

Monday, October 24, 2016


Last post was the day my neighbor conjured up some hair brained scheme to take his wife and go storm his sisters house with guns over a facebook post. I'm so sad to report my neighbor lady I prayed for was shot and killed while her husband and his sister just sustained bullet wounds. I think of the blog post I published along with the photo of him blocking the lane along with another one or two posts of the disturbances here (explosions from the basement, getting caught with meth on school premises, children riding atv's all over lawns when visiting) and prayed for them. I hoped that when she lost her job, she would beat this addiction and regain her standing. Just whent I would hear her yell out to him and reign him in to control some of his madness across the acres...I thought they had this monster behind them. Traffic wasn't so crazy over there and all seemed ok then nothing. We thought she had moved out from him when we didn't see her for more than a month but maybe she was just tired and depressed from fighting a losing battle or injured because others say she never did leave him.  I cannot imagine the heartbreak her children or family must be going through but hope they know she did try to clean the messes he created in their lives before her death.  I pray for the family now, and although they detained the neighbor guy for capital murder (death ensued while committing a felony), I pray he remains there for a good bit until he can beat his addiction, gain insight, and counsel others.

Amalfi bikers
So I've cried for a girl I never met face to face but I have met her husband and while he seemed nice at least, I cannot help but admit he scares me. If he has done this stupid act over a facebook post from his sister...what about me, a stranger, over a blog? I will continue to practice my freedom of speech, or telling of the experiences that cross my path. True recovery comes from admittance and the ability to talk about things in order to process it all. So I've been tweaking my security and had the electric company add a security light as well. I've also been busy supporting a sibling on their second year of sobriety via drug court and now see them also on the road to financial recovery as well; building credit, new car, new friends, new job, etc. but see at the same time, another one slip into the grips of addiction. These are bigger issues than the corrupted and/or rip off services I've been experiencing that  have affected me so I hope to find some counsel that will help learn how or what to say when I cross others with these problems.

Monasteries of Meteora
ATT and the electric still has their power outages (servers out, lines out...too many reasons to list here) but the water pressure I was experiencing in August that made my pipes sound like Linda Blair living in them led me right into the doctors office with broken toes and foot sprain after flushing a toilet. It sounded like it was going to explode and made me leap into the air stumbling over nothing and flat facing the floor. I had just paid my car tags so perfect timing because I could legally drive to that doctor lol! But what really has me laughing (after the initial shock and disbelief) is when the woman for the state health dept. told me that they are too busy digging in holes to fix water lines to call in a boil advisory alert (do they not have speed dial?) and the noise in the plumbing is how they know it is 'Boil Water' time but here is where I can't help but roll with laughter! When I said "I guess when me and the dogs get sick, we'll know" then she replies "Dogs don't get sick from contaminated water" so I asked "What makes you say this?"......wait for it.......she replied "Because they eat their own feces" :l Omg in heaven! Really?!? When I told the vet this....he just dropped his head lmao! Very nice lady but right now I don't know whether this state threw her this job because #1 they need a scape goat, #2 they don't care, #3 they are desperate ....or God knows what :l

Parthenon Athens, Greece
And Paros scratched really bad in September. I found a flea on Annabelle so took Paros in to see why his coat is dry, falling out, and has 3 bald spots. And his saddle has never stripped out this easily. Flea allergy both the veterinarian and I think so decontaminate the property time again it was but I fell silent when he was quizative on what was in the air. Dare I mentioned the crop dusters (who've actually been good about not flying over the house the past couple of years) or wanting to check the floors for Chinese glue containing too much formaldehyde? I just stared blankly out the window and could not bring myself back down to earth and answers him with even an "I don't know". So I get to test the floors but when it comes to my best buddy's not laughable. Call it more of a neighbor with the FB post issue :/

Prayer wall at House of Virgin Mary
But the online gaming keeps my mind off of the craziness here and gives me something to do while my foot healed. As much as we love this house (and living in the peace and quiet again since the explosions and shotgun blasts have ceased), I know I still need to move on. I am getting older and this home with it's wonderful vibes I think come from the others who passed here, leaving good memories in it, is too big for me now. I had no idea I'd age so quickly here in the past 8 years. I look down on my Paros when he is resting his head in my lap at night and wonder where did they go. I think sometimes that if Paros was to would make me want to remain here. All of the memories we had together would have been created right here. His love for barking at the garbage men on Tuesdays, his walk abouts marking the front 3 acres, his learning "EASY" when using the stairs, him knowing we built that dog house for him, etc. And it is looking awesome with the walkway, gardens, and hope to get to the French doors and decking done! Will have to put a photo here one day...maybe Christmas when it's decorated. Looking for snoopy this week...hopefully dressed as the red baron lol :D

Ephesus Library

Traveling now and then reminds me that there is intelligence beyond this place. Ephesus with the 3rd largest ancient library in the world,  Athens just steeped in history and democracy, Malta and their love for Saint John, even Rome, France, Spain, and how the Greeks retained their history up in the monasteries built on the cliffs in Meteora. And the US has the largest library in the world! We may have mad arrangements with the rest of our vacation time to be here at the house next month taking care of some more renovations but are planning a trip to Asia or South America to Machu Picchu for our next "Get me the hell outta here" venture. Personally I am hoping for Asia with a 2 day layover in Athens but have my sights on jeeping to Angkor Wat and Ta Prohm temples in the Siem Reap province of Cambodia. seems to enhance what to expect with sights, history, time, etc.  The other ports of call are Thailand, Japan, Singapore, Viet Nam, etc. And it would be a dream to take Paros to board with his breeders and visit them with the layover!

Yeah...recovering from everything that has hit me while living here has been long and slow. I am still suffering it too but not as much and I am still bitter over the disabilities it has left me with. The biggest hurt has been the time it has taken from me and my dog.

Then I see my boy smile when he goes for his walkabout on the property or chase down and bark at yet another invading animal from the woods. My good and happy boy, doing his job! All is right in the world in these moments :)

*I should note here that there are a few people outside of my doctors that are respectable, educated, and good people. Most of my neighbors (one who is planning her first trip to Italy this year!!!), my pharmacists (whom I adore discussing travel with!) along with a few others. I was VERY surprised to find this to be true from one of the people online whom I game with. The most respected person from this game happens to be a younger vet living down the road lol :D Ironic, huh?

Ephesus, Turkey

Monday, August 8, 2016


Wow. Long time since last post but trip was ok minus the flight, lost luggage, etc. there (16 hours in airports, 16 hours on plane), come home to a mess with strangers in my house, ID theft (thank you life lock, bank, police, etc!), ATT outages, power outages, no water pressure and water company with line breaks making it sound like Linda Blair living in my pipes, etc. I'm exhausted and all that sucked up too much time to be able to come in here and blog about my vacation :( It has taken every bit of 2 months to straighten out bank accounts, clean up mess in house, groom the dogs (3 times now :/), deal with the water and wondering why it's $80 a month from the usual $15-25 and ripping up my gardens to check with the meter not registering for leaks anyway, time on phone with Directv who does not know why I am not bundles with ATT...the 2cd time I get their services and they STILL CAN'T and say it's not bundled but did when I ordered their service, house, etc....I just screamed at God one day stating that I WAS NOT JOB and AT MY LIMIT! Of course a minor breakdown with apologizing and regret for losing it ensued right after :l

I do know I'll never allow Carnival to handle my flights or listen to them again but the ship was really beautiful and our room was a double concierge type. You had to to through 2 private doors to get to our cabin door on the corner balcony with vista views (lol "Vista" was perfect name for ship and they have "Vista 2" already hit the water when we were aboard 1's maiden voyage!!). I can't wait to show photos and go into detail of all the places, history, photos, people, food, etc. we experienced but in a nutshell....Greece felt like home and calmed us although with the jet lag, missing luggage, breeders left 3 hours waiting past arrival, Athens on strike that day, neck stiff and feet swollen like ballons from being up 2 days had me sport a look of mental anguish on my face the first 2 days :/ Meteora was awesome, Parthenon by night and day fabulous, shopping was good, HD shop was the bomb, but the best was a killer dinner with Paros's Mum and Dad at a spectacular seafood place! And although I had an ouzo...I drank it wrong when I shot it down. When I rewatched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when we got back...I learned where I got that from I'm sure a couple other movies but the stuff was sooo bad....I prefer to slam it down lol! But I loved the fresh sea urchin, fried mullet (nothing like the species in the states), oysters....sooo much seafood they must have ordered everything off of their friends menu! Of course we didn't allow them to pick up the tab with their 3 hour wait at the airport while we lost our luggage, the loss of Paros's mom, and with Mother's day that just was the one thing Paros could do for them. He loves us and them so and is soooo sweet, smart, and loyal...he'd give us all the world if he could :)

Sounion Greece
We felt safe to walk the streets at night there too. I took some photos about 2 am in the morning and walked around a bit during the full blood moon. We missed out on Athens the first night because of the strike but caught the temple of Poseidon with its steely presence overlooking the sea in Sounion. The day was a bit ominous but I knew it would pass as it did and the remainder of our vacation was hot and sunny (minus the day in Livorno when we had tickets to may our way to Cinque Terre again). We absolutely fell in love with the history and tour of Turkey, along with the tour guide and her people who had the hand made Turkish rug shop. They pulled some out and I found one I loved, gave them the credit card and thought I had the souvenir of a life time until we noticed days later...nothing was taken out and upon arriving home, the issues in Istanbul was all over the news :( No planes in or out so I am assuming this is why. No rugs coming out :((( We do plan to fly over there and look more in depth if they should ever secure their borders. This country AMAZED me! The house of virgin Mary, Ephesus where apostle Paul taught and where St. John formed his crusaders "Knights Templar", how the religions both highly revere these holy requires a blog and more on its own! I didn't get my Turkish coffee or cigarette, I didn't get to pray or see a mosque and immerse myself in their culture as much as I would have liked, but what I did see was more than I ever expected. The people, stories, history, and country was astounding!

Azure Window
But for now, with windows 10 offer GONE I am in hopes to update my computer and at least glad I can make ANY kind of post until later :) One thing I learned was that this vacation was more of a journey of self discovery than one of relaxation and thrills. We did have a blast in Malta, loved Italy as usual, fell deeper in love with France, astounded by Turkey, and between Greece and Paros...they own my heart! I've also resolved rid inept people and services like the black plaque. If you can't bundle it...stay away. If you can't get pressure or fix this mess with a warning of water contamination or issues...I will hire a third party to evaluate everything from my house to the water companies pumps...then get a well,

I also know I sobbed like a baby when we had to board the beautiful Carnival Vista. I really felt a connection of some sort there. And when everyone on board would ask where I am from...anywhere but here lol :D Although I was born in Tennessee and was Miss Memphis 1st alternate...I haven't lived there since puberty so normally I just say New Orleans. Both Jim and I have more years there than anywhere but since we are both children in the wind...we've decide to just say "God and our Mama's" ;)

Leaving my heart in Greece

Till then...we may hit New Orleans for our birthdays with the dogs, and then take another week vacation this fall to continue renovating. Maybe we can go back to Louisiana.