Thursday, December 7, 2017


This has been the longest time between blogs these past 8 and 9 years or living here and I don't think there will be another one except maybe to post a photo of Paros when he crosses over. I fell into a deep depression when the doc dropped my insurance after going to another doctor for over a year and a half and NEVER meeting him so I was just shot. I tried to pick things up by planning to use Jim's vacation time to focus on finishing renovations to the house instead of travel so we did most of the floors and electrical in November and December. The power still kept flickering off and on even on a clear day so by January it finally fried a PlayStation 4, TV, and computer. 8K later coming out of Best Buy in Feb. we thought we were on track but it took 3 techs to connect them and everything was still not right.

Then Paros yelped when he was outside and limped in. I checked his leg and felt nothing through his thick mass of hair thinking maybe he sprained something. I gave it 2 weeks but he was still limping but felt a lump even though he showed no signs of discomfort so I shaved his coat off and there it was. A mass of some sort. Maybe a fluid build up or harmless snake bite, or infection? The vet X-rayed his leg and said it didn't look good, gave me some pain meds for him along with antibiotics or something and said come back in 10 days so I did. He said the same thing..."It doesn't look good, come back in 10 days". I asked him "What do you mean it doesn't look good?!? A snake bite, infection, or what?" He replied "I think it's cancer. It must me in the air...are you around any black mold?" No indeed so I take him to the oncologists and surgical team at Memphis Veterinary Specialists, ran skin biopsy, then bone...then the diagnosis...rare cancers...synovial sarcoma, bone carcinoma....WTH?!? I think from that moment on it was as if they slapped my soul out of my body into another dimension. I was blank.

They removed his leg and gave him a 7 months saying it was mesenchymal and not histiocytic which was a good thing or he'd only have 3 months. We remained positive throughout his healing process, even sending ViaGen tissue samples to cryogenically preserve (making me feel like I haven't totally lost him for some dumb reason) and it was a couple weeks later we have him walking about when we get the call my stepfather had a stroke in Louisiana but my youngest daughter decided to go to a wedding in California anyway so dogs in tow and throwing money on Credit Cards we zeroed out for his leg and to rent a house...we head to Louisiana and try to make it as much of a vacation as possible. I was in such a rush I didn't even notice I had rented out a 5 bedroom house on the bayou for the 2 of us :l I lmbo on that one and the fact that it wasn't until 5 days later I noticed my shoes didn't match lol! But Paros loved it and we saw my stepfather move from ICU, to regular hospital bed, then into a rehab facility outside the hospital (Catholic one which was beautiful but he hated it). His stroke left his speech a bit off but I understood 90% of what he was saying and Paros was loving the new sites and smells so I considered the trip successful and was ready to go back home to finish taking kitchen cabinets down and removing the flooring in there as well.

You don't think that went well do you?!? Driving up the lane we see lightning had hit a tree. Must have been a nasty storm this past may so getting inside the house we smell mold. WTH?!? Thinking about what the General Vet said about black mold...we are ripping through sheet rock, insulation and notice moldy water stains on the Masonite boarding against the brick under all the windows, notice the windows split more (wood was flying at me during an earlier pressure washing chore so I stopped) and even cracks in the walls. Although our insurance said they think the house just settled (after 43 years during a storm?!? Whatever :l ), we think different and continued to rip out cabinets and sheet rock (I am down to studs and figure WTH...may as well redo the plumbing too :/). We had also noticed a scabbing or non support board to have a break. They said if the top bedroom comes crashing down I'm not covered due to poor construction. WTH...this is/was considered to be one of the most well built houses in town and even though he brought out a constructional engineer who thought the house was sound too...we think the storm shook the ground knocking things askew a bit. But one man in town can have 7 fires in the time we are here and is covered to build bigger and better buildings...I need to change insurance companies! Unless he is with mine and they are broke from covering him over and over again...I dunno :/

No problem though...we were going to do the kitchen anyway but now our attention is focused on the windows that split away more and get Windows USA to replace ALL OF THEM. Remarkable job, service, price, and Alaskan windows to boot!!! We were really happy with them and even had some more trees removed but when it came to the roof...I wanted to go with the cop but could only afford the criminal by this time lol! Yes...2 guys came up cold calling looking to see if anyone needed roofing work and quoted me a price less than half of the others so how could I refuse? Said he'd been doing it for 25 years and although the ex cop may have had a shattered knee (hospital sent him home with that!!! Validation on hospital quality here :/)...I really wanted his roof but budget dictated other. And it wasn't until after the two guys were done with my roof did I find he had served time in prison and the other was crippled with rod in his leg. Relieved to find it wasn't a violent crime and liking them anyway I hired him to do other work but he fell off the later landing on his feet shattering them! And wouldn't you know this would be on the day my pharmacy (or docs office) doesn't have refills for me on my BP meds! I'm having panic attacks at first but guarantee you by day 3 I was ready for the ER. But I learned pot can work in a pinch...unless it burns your throat...and even though I think it is too easy to get a script for it in Colorado...I believe its medical properties are conducive to the health community and would like to see it legalized across the states for medical purposes. At least it you could be assured of what's in it and free from pesticides or whatever. I like my meat FDA inspected too so I don't do deer lol :D

It has been a long hard year and Jim and I have had our horns locked too from all the stress. I sometimes think I'll lose and walk away but I will NOT tolerate ANY violent action WHAT SO EVER anywhere! Probably why I never had a fight in my bar or others bars I've managed. You can even ask my oldest daughter when her private school called because she physically moved another girl from the front of the line. I grabbed her arm and slammed her down in the chair in the principals office and asked her if she thought that was right me forcing her into that chair and how did she feel about that? She NEVER had any altercation since that day in elementary school :) (exception...when she was attacked..she drop kicked the guy by kneeing his testicles!) Go girl ;) Now you got it! I just call it "Madea's Gritball" #MeToo lol! :D

Lately I've blown off the 2 hour drive to internist they say I should see instead of liver doc (Gastro) and have been going to a chiropractor to get this ruptured disc some relief along with lower back when the metal bar jabbed it when I fell backwards off that table shattering my wrist. I have feeling great! He said something like "You've been awakened" and that pretty much it! I figured I could gain mobility for the drive to the internist by doing this first. I have gained considerable movement and can distinguish certain areas and what is going on but blocked by the left side of my brain and head where the pressure has been in my ear. You can feel it. Mass is spreading toward my neck now and it is bigger. And the dizzy spells have gotten worse but I am having more good days than bad so I think I can make the drives to these doctors they say I should see. Even Paros's new masses in his neck are the size of a garlic bulb and tangerine and it is getting hard for him to use his back leg now. Last week was really bad for him and the first time it hit me that his 7 months are here but this week he has been better so I just pray we get through Christmas with him. It has been hard on my nerves with ALL the dogs and me evacuated to my bedroom area since the house renno has turned into a gut job :/ And my  computer in the office is fried now too (but we got a new power grid and the last few months have been ok concerning the flickering electricity outages!), so not much escape for me even though I have that room almost opened back up.

There have been other things like popcorn scraped off ceilings, siding repairs, trees removed, trees planted, painting, and Jim's off this week but brings home his head cold and waits to see the doc now and nothing has gotten done. His diabetes has his mood swings unbearable. I guess he needs attention too but I really have to focus on what becomes of Paros right now. There is green space (6 nature reserves) in the US where we can be buried with our pets but you can't be embalmed nor placed in a coffin. I had already spoken to an attorney here who just says they embalm you within 24 hours...but can I be shipped off before that? I need to speak with one more knowledgeable about these things because I don't want Paros buried alone and I think a cremation around Christmas will throw me over the edge. I'm already on the phone with counseling but wouldn't you know it is an hour and a half to drive to the nearest one? I did try to put some video thing on here Norton kept removing lol....and talking with one nearby wouldn't be good...bashing their state and all :/

So things are becoming clearer and I can fix a lot including the kitchen cabinets...some places will allow me to order them since no one has called back with their estimates around here. And no general contractor will come out to check and see if I need extra structural support so hopefully the insurance's engineer will charge me a fee and hand me a document stating I'm sound (ok..I just bust out on that one lmao!!! :D ) We'll see.

Till then...I can't fix Paros. Only God can. And if he is merciful...we will be together when we are both gone from this life. That is heaven to me.

Special thanks to Paros's Vets, Sony..excellent concierge service, Windows USA, my water guy for pushing my trees off into the ravine...and mostly...Dillards for the little party when I picked up my fox coat...sales lady/dance teacher for lead on Pro Stone to do my kitchen (fingers crossed!), the manager that knows of my Fleur de Paris on Royal in the Quarter, and my #1 lady that shows me the good stuff who is also a near death...we kept shocking each other! I called it "The Divine Spark" :)

Then there's Obama for internet, banning that chemical along with WHO used in our cotton fields, creating our first marine national park, etc....and yes...Michelle did have grit and took on an awesome cause that needed to be addressed! (I cried about his leaving in my doctors office :/). He became my favorite president (I still love Carter too :))

And forever, his breeders for being here with me through this.