UPWARD AND ONWARD

 

I can't believe it's been 2 months since the last post. Longest period of silence for me in here largely in part due to getting off "UHC Network Treadmill" and finding my own doctor. It was like a mountain of stress taken off my back and whether or not I survive this stage 3 liver mess...I am under a doctor's care whom I actually see, has a license, clean office, prescribes treatments, answers questions etc.!! Whether he is a POE, POP...I dunno. I never had to deal with or understand insurance mess so when I went to purchase mine again...I just thought getting it through Jim's work would take one less bill off of my desk. Not that I got a price break. It cost me as much or more as the other private health insurances I've purchased for me in the past.

So with the internet running, seeing doctors WHO ARE PRESENT AND PROFESSIONAL....I've been ok and liver not so inflamed with the stress gone. Thanksgiving came about and Jim didn't come home until late the night before so I didn't get to shop for food but not too worried about it...there was always chicken from the gas station lol but we were lucky Cracker Barrel was opened (although I'd been happier with the baked chicken from the gas station if it was free from food poisoning :/). I think the first time my liver swelled up was around our Christmas trip to Caribbean when I had a small piece of Tiramisu :/ Then twice after seeing liver doc after Christmas right before my blood work thanks to the local store here. I think they purchase rejected food left hot on trucks and rejected by other stores. About 40% of it is expired. Even the elderly impoverished blacks here and distressed about it so it isn't like I'm finicky or particular, even though I am, but I mean really?!? When even those who are more free going with what hits their table or mouths notice this...it's a problem that needs to be addressed. So my liver kicked me down for 2 days last week after purchasing some feta cheese with a good date (after I threw the 6 or so expired containers of bleu cheese off to the side :P). What happened to our laws and protection for clean food, air, and water? Health care? WTH?!??

I also thought we were still under the regulations of gun control until I heard Obama's speech on it. I know I was screened for my handgun when I had run night deposits of large sums of money to the bank. I took gun safety classes, registered my firearm, took care of it, adhered to the rules of reporting it when it was taken, and never used it for anything but to insure my safety. You just don't play, threaten, toy, or carelessly handle a firearm. Nor should anyone else use it other than your instructor. Kudo's to Obama. I didn't realize we allowed irresponsible idiots to have guns because of some 'loop hole' and the internet :P

But what compelled me to come in here this week was hearing about David Bowie's passing. We have been playing the crap out of "Black Star" since before Christmas and all doing what we call Bowie's "Creepy Shakes" (instead of "Hippie Shakes" lol :D) from Memphis to New Orleans, to Caribbean, and everywhere inbetween. I had even learned my eldest daughter (pictured here) would watch his movie "Labyrinth" and others over, and over again just because of him! How cool this artist from my generation spanned into the next! He probably did that piece for his son no doubt :} He continued on with the story of the "Starman" and all of his alien, Major Tom (Space Oddity, Ashes to Ashes, etc.), and other songs about our beloved starman (also played on the new movie "The Martian"....I had to back it up to watch the movie once I quit rocking out to "Starman" from Ziggy Stardust lol :D ). He plays the prophet telling the story in this 'other world' where the starman landed and died, and how this primitive culture looked up to him and probably thought this is where they came from (like the Mayan's at Chichen Itza or Tulum thought they derived from snakes and worshipped them). We could only speculate they sacrificed the men once they bred with them but hearing how he died the weekend the full album was released on his 69th birthday, getting his star on the Hollywood Blvd. walk of fame, the play out from Lazarus, and Michael Hall from showtime's "Dexter" preformed on a late night show....all in one week...Bowie never emulates another artist...he comes on the scene in his own unique way.

And to those who think it all means some satanic crap...what a primitive assumption showing your ignorance. He is a star and unfortunately he had this black mass taking him from us and he knew it. I'm sure he has had his doubts but those of us who have followed Bowie throughout the years know better. He is all about spirituality, not religion, and has questioned the existence of God like all humans. Obviously he had some issues with his illness from his new songs so I'm inclined to agree with CNN's article speculating about it as well. But now he knows there is a God for sure so RIP Bowie....we'll always love you and do the 'creepy shakes'...knowing you are free as that blue bird in heaven within pure energy of light and love which is whom we call God :)

Prayers to the 7 year old boy who lost his life from the tornado that hit right before Christmas up the road from here and Bowie's family. I'll probably always love "Heroes" the best because it was then I was SURE he wasn't strange, just normal and highly creative :) My daughter was on her 4th time of watching "Labyrinth" one day in the 80's when I had to pull the VHS tape out and make her go get some exercise outside but ironically I never knew until this Christmas going home to NOLA that she was just mesmerized with him!We'll always have our passport and shoes ready, Bowie, doing the 'creepy shakes', singing Starman and Space Oddity, and moving onwards and upwards right behind you! :))))

Thanks for all the years of music and movies. We've always been aboard listening to and following you, loving where you are still taking us. You'll always be 'Golden' to us ;)

  

 

 

STOP 'ROUND FOR STARTERS

 

I sooo got the green light from my insurance, United Health Care, and wanted to RUSH in here to retract what I had said about them in the last post. Yeah...some of the network doctors aren't there or never show but 2 out of 2 isn't bad and my general practitioner is a God Send who is not only compassionate, smart, written a book on how Christ died, but has an extreme passion and reverence for him. I felt like my prayers were heard and our Father sent me to one of his best! :))))

And while on prayers...I had another MRI yesterday (I tried to get out of :/ I was just hoping knowledge would drop out of his mouth by using last years MRI and he'd throw me a miracle pill or wave that magic wand) so recited Psalms in order not to swallow while she had the machine running on my neck, then our lords prayer, then a prayer, and on the longest one, I started doing the rosary via fingers when it hit me! I had another piece of metal from a drapery needle lodged in my foot when aerobicizing back in 1988 and got osteomyelitis :l Infection set into my bones and they talked about removing my foot because the metal would have been too difficult to remove until 2 prayer groups later...Cipro had come onto the market. That antibiotic saved my foot by knocking the infection out of my bones before it could travel to my head!

So living here in the woods where I thought I'd get clean water and fresh air when instead I've gotten fecal coliform and crop dusters lol, has had me hit with every quirky health issue from the week we moved in. That first week landed me in the town's hospital with the green mold to remove a piece of wood from my other foot :/ The IV had me red as a beet and about to pass out but they did get it out and gasped when they saw it! Then running around checking signals with AT&T with power failures, falling off tables when they told me to pull phone lines and I get dizzy, nurse telling me she is a doctor and learning she wasn't (but finally in doctors hands). Now the lesion on the liver from last year has become 'lesions' and the mentioned 'diverticulitis' which I am now sure is more like a parasitic invasion now that Paros has been diagnosed with roundworms this week :(((


Yep. He has been off the monthly Heart worm pills that protects him from whip, round, and hookworms and even though I told the girl at the new vet not to put him on the 6 month injection...the vet gave him the 6 month injection ...which come to find out...does NOT protect him from roundworms! And I'm in the dirt more than the dogs gardening (not so much this year though...too listless). But this is after the Shih Tzu attacked my good arm when grooming him. I wasn't focused...still too foggy headed and he still thinks the clippers and brush are Satan and friends :/ He even drew blood in two places ...this was just the third place where no blood was drawn, just a bruise! Didn't even feel it though...not with the neck, side issues, and then came the eye all red, swelling, and feeling like I'm about to be hit with pink eye so I throw some ophthalmic ointment I had left over into my eye to thwart any new issues. My doctor has enough on his plate playing catch up with me! I can get what I can get and save the more difficult stuff for them (Lord bless them, give them strength, and a strong dose of understanding and humor!).

I went as the victim :/

I feel like I've been on a marathon and during the race here but I can see the finish line! I've been battered, neglected, bitten, bruised, lied to, poked, prodded, poisoned, and tired...just crawling to cross that line and get out of here! But I will always love the peace and privacy out here along with the time I've had to garden, play games, feed the chipmunk, birds, squirrels, herd of deer, and fox that churbles at me like a cat :) I know I don't want stairs in my next house and I've also realized that when I do die...I'll take my faith to ground with me! But I won't miss the horror I witnessed here with the schools, water, doctors (minus the ones I have that are REAL lol :D), internet issues and I won't even mention the electricity because they did rectify their problem asap ;) But I do see that finish line and I am optimistic I will cross it; accomplishing what I set out to do...regain my health.


Till then, Paros has to go on a diet and I need to discuss with the vet about whether it is safe or not to put him on the monthly pills that protect him from roundworms. So glad to see his stool coming around to normal today! I get to give the lab my stool too, tomorrow lol :D And whether it is positive or not...you can best bet I'll wear my gardening gloves and sit on the mat Jim gave me :) He has been encouraging and thinks I'll get my balance back and be able to ride the new scoot! I'd like to say that I just can't wait but it's exactly what I'll have to do :/ ~sigh~ I still haven't gotten the tags for it so maybe after I finish up some of this doc business! Just one more vac this month for Hep B and other stuff they suggested, then another in 6 months, and liver doc appointment, reading of MRI tomorrow ...then it's Christmas and cruising with my oldest daughter! We are excited! I'm a bit bummed about my youngest daughter's birthday tomorrow but she wasn't speaking to me when she was speaking to me :l  I bought me something for her birthday and will celebrate it and pray for her.  Jim just loves it! They were $100 off at restoration hardware and I think they look like afghan hounds! Just need to find my nightstands one day :/

As for my oldest daughter's birthday this month...I bought her a gown, gold earrings, the cruise, and little surprises when she goes to her cabin so she'll know how much she is loved too :) I know I will miss her and we can't say what the future holds but I believe it's time to finish up here and move forward into a lifestyle that is conducive to work, aging, and services we'll require...God willing

 

Happy Birthday to my daughters. I'll say it until I'm in the ground...you don't have to be perfect but I wish for you both to be decent, balanced woman who believe in God and know that you are loved :)

  

 

CRUISING RIPPLE EFFECTS

Since the last post...I did get to see the liver specialist out of pocket and had my questions answered and then some like the insurance dragging their feet saying NO to everything and why that one lesion last year has multiplied into many lessions including my liver now (1.5 yrs. later :/). We just need to find the infection and well...I'm still on the water thing. The dogs and I are sick at the same time and Jim won't be because he is in Atlanta all the time. And wouldn't you know my liver would be swollen on that visit 2 days after a stressful scenario with AT&T again about my internet speeds on the computers (even the new one) slowing down to 1.0 to 3.0 (on a good day)? But I practiced breathing technics and clasped my cross while saying prayers while I waited to relax and not come off as some excited rube who is getting to see a real doctor and not have to look on WEB MD for my answers while fighting AT&T for internet speed lol :D No wonder all of the other doctors laugh at this mess and even the one I never got to see in the year and a half (nurse anyway) say I have the WORST insurance of ALL!! United Health Care. Don't do it. It's a trick :/

So I just got tired of the nightmares and crying in the night disturbing Jim's sleep when he is home, waking him up, worrying him, and then he'll console me so I jumped up and shopped for him the Harley he wanted; Heritage Softail. He had even slipped and fell in the shower in Atlanta the week I gave him more bad news and landed in the ER so I just wanted to put a pep in his step and make him
happy by getting out from the black cloud UHC allows to linger over our heads and get happy and not worry about me for a moment. 2 days later he takes a sick personal day (what I call a 'get well' and 'live' day!) and headed out towards Hattiesburg Cycles which is a HUGE place with EXCELLENT inventory and an Indian dealership. When we walked in the door, a little Indian Scout with matt finish in Paros colors grabbed my eye so I just stood there a moment. Jim liked her too! He liked her so much, he passed on the Harley and bought her even though she is smaller than my sportster (which I couldn't get my feet flat on the ground but this scout I can!!). Paros went for the ride too and got to go in loving the attention! He is a very sociable boy and sooo sweet but the day got a little rough on us when we learned my new insurance I had gotten from the bank canceled on me, we had no time to add the tow package to my SUV to trailer it home because of that mess (both of us nervous about me having to drive), and Jim froze and ached from riding it home 3 hours into the night :(

But regardless of the obstacles, I laughed most of the day at him when he said he'd have to change all of his Harley stuff! Then when he got home saying "That's out of my system now" and in the morning when he said "Happy anniversary...I just bought you a bike!" Lol...we are back at the
drawing board looking at used Harleys but I know my mission was accomplished by the way he and Paros lit up like fireflies during the course of the day :) And somehow I knew when I quit worrying about the unscrupulous ethics and policies, mistreatment, and devious con methods of big businesses like ATT and UHC by putting it all in God's hands...things would come about ok regardless of our plans. They became His plan for us so the ripple effect took a different path from the one we were on and we came home with a fresh perspective :) Also found out his boss has the same exact bike so how bad can that be? It's a sharp little scoot!

And even though the insurance thinks I'm alright but when I got on the bike I could tell my balance was off...maybe they are right and I should take 'alright' for a ride lol! :D Although the neurologist was going to run another scan to see if the growth in my neck was growing and pressing more on my spine...and check the ruptured disc that sometimes presses on my nerves when I try to get active
(which is the least of my problems), the insurance thinks I should just do some physical therapy (which I am happy for on the disc part at least) but we'll see. I told my general practitioner yesterday if it's not in my head...I'll be in with more shattered bones :( If not...I'll be getting some of that fresh crop dusted country air after my glass of coliform water ...clearing my head and laughing in the wind I call "God's Breath" ;)

As far as these health insurance companies tying the docs hands behind their backs and not letting them do their jobs correctly, forcing us to just see nurses who only have a 4 yr degree (which I'd rather go into the vet with the dogs myself), and just go in for one thing at a time even though you may fall like me and shatter your arm along with hurt your lower back at the same time (which will FINALLY be looked at next week and has gotten worse with the trip over the wires when ATT connect tech had me bridge router to router one night)...I don't see where they, nor I, are saving any money so I will just keep making appts until it is corrected. The doc just laughed when I said "Inept" and how a friend in Canada was diagnosed with a lung tumor and already underwent chemo and radiation within 3 months time! We know she doesn't carry UHC lol! :D So nothing pathetic here but the companies :P I'm still trying to get in touch with FDA and discuss drug and treatment quality in Mexico...for real! I only blame that lesion turning into lesions this past year and a half on UHC even though they try to blame it on the region and docs (shame on them! family and co workers in other states that have them are saying the same thing about them! And they really should check who they 'network' with or hire into their network :P ).

Other than that...when I went to get my BP meds refilled at Walmart ...and every month they I have no more...Jim says he will send them my funeral bill if anything happens to me. We later get "Oh...here it is" EVERY month so stupid stops here too. Next month I will have them at the pharmacy here in town and we are TOTALLY boycotting Walmart :P After my BP got high yesterday, liver started swelling, I became disoriented in the middle of the parking lot and had to figure out what I was doing and where was I. I just drove over next door to the hospital and downloaded on a nice lady there, we laughed, down breathing techniques, called Jim who was under 2 hours away to meet me at a restaurant and drive me on in home :) (and I gess I'll need a therapist in their network because boy am I getting depressed with my life on hold :( ). I probably need to just stay away from anything or anyone that's stupid but I feel every time I turn around and take 2 steps...I meet up with it again :/

 

Yep. Till then it's all a ripple effect. But we're through riding the inept waves cast by big business. We are skipping our own stones and I can't wait to see what's on the other side of the pond! (and I'm ready to shave my head of hair to show the gashes from the falls :/ Lol...my vet says along with the gen. P they should also do a lyme test from the 5 ticks in my head Mana brought me from the woods :l).