Wednesday, June 20, 2012

KNOCKING PAIN

.
It's been a hard week for us all here I think. My baby brother's vehicle started making the knocking sound of death before it died and he is having a hard time saving up for a new ride so I just wrote a check to send him in hopes it will ease the situation. He did buy flowers to take to our father's grave Sunday for Father's Day. Then my step father's washer went out so I offered to buy him one this coming sunday. Jim says to give him ours which is only 2 yrs old and invest in one to put upstairs for me so I don't go up and down stairs with the laundry. Especially since I slid down them last week :/ To top it all off, one of his dachsaunds may have to be put down. He took him to Memphis Veterinary Specialists this week who can replace her disc for 3k but she may be in renal failure. It's one thing I love about him; a soft heart for animals and children. My father also but dogs belong outside the house and for hunting or security.

My daughter's dog, Mana, has been having a time of her life here. She keeps going into the woods to spend a night here and there only to come back wagging her tail when she wants, stinking of skunk and allowing ticks to hitch a ride. And although I'm gagging when I open the back door to go get 'skunk off' or keep my hand therapy appointments...this isn't even the reason I have to get her back out to California to her father's house. I feel so useless I couldn't help her while she is in Japan. I am hoping we can drive out before they leave at the end of July. I'm not sure though because Jim has been out of town for the past 2 weeks and it's usually busy for him in the summer so maybe my sister can go and we help fund her ride or something. It's just too hot to fly her there.

And it was the other day when my therapist told me her broken arm hurt for 6 months. So I am wondering how long the shattered wrist, arm, and broke bone will last. I've been up nights not being able to sleep soundly because of the physical pain. Not so much the plate as the torn tendons in my hand and broken bone that keeps me gritting my teeth and clenching something. I did stock the wet bar in case I don't get a refill on pain meds though. I am panicked about that. I was too happy to kick that habit and once I drink...I will have to give up therapy :/ Things could be worse though. My poor stepfather going through the anniversary of my mother's death 2 months ago and to get her stone and lose one of their dogs here at her birthday has to be very hard. Not to mention he was the one who had to identify my nephew who was caught inbetween the sunroof of the SUV and interstate and had to be cremated. We will always treasure him for that painful job and be leery of Ford/Firestone tires. (And ATT didn't call like they said so added to the rip off list).

One a good note, Paros's birthday week was really nice. Lots of walkabouts, rides, chicken and broccoli, and 2 quilts I use as coverlets on our bed for him to lie on. Even though there is a couch and he has a pillow by the window in our bedroom, he will sleep inbetween us like a human :l  I wouldn't have it any other way  :) I think I will have to take his coat though. I've been down about that. And trying to order Annabelle Lee a collar too as soon as I find or buy another soft measure :/ (Luigi from Lupavaro)

And Jim and I are looking up and forward to seeing Jerry and giving him his washer along with taking him to dinner and hitting the flea market this Sunday. With him out of town these past two weeks and not wanting me to take him to see ZZ Top in Southaven yesterday for Father's day, I find he is still my bargain hunting buddy and prefers this over a bose surround for his TV or concert. I did get him a 'Survival' handbook Nat Geo had but was beaten to the antique bowie knife he was eyeing :/

But I still exist here on earth and say the worst pain one can have is of a broken heart. I will soon forget my shattered arm and wrist and this will go away. I even still cry out for my parents like a child whether the pain is physical or emotional. Something that I ceased doing for the past 2 decades so they wouldn't be burdened with my griefs. I think it's ok now. So I do cry out to them and when the emotions of them not being here floods through me, it does knock out the physical pain for a while.

As Jim says...."One can mend anything but a broken heart."